Am I really "psycho"?

Here is an update from my first post: link removed

Hey Guys I just wanted to rant about how I have been feeling these days. I have been feeling good and I have improved (it has already been like 8 months since it happened). Then a setback....I have reamained friends with the girl who's boyfriend is still friends with my ex. She has really helped me through this and we would always talk. But then I felt I needed to just work my way through this alone and we didn't talk as much and I never called her anymore. Suddenly these past few weeks I she called me and informed me that my ex and his girlfriend (the one he cheated with and left me for) were in town and asked if they wanted to go out with them. She told me that she said no and that she would never want to be around that girl. I told her that she could do whatever she wanted to do and that I was happy for my ex that he found someone and was in love.

I thought it would bother me but suprisingly I just felt that in order to move on i have to accept things. I was feeling fine after this news but then this week she calls me again to tell me that she and her boyfriend got in a fight and it involved us. She said that her boyfriend was boasting so much about my ex's girlfriend and how my ex said that she was "cooler and better than me and that they never fought" and then she said that my ex called me psycho and didn't want me to know that he was in town this week. uhhh...ok....listen I have not tried to contact this guy since the last time I saw him which was like in late october 2002. I just let things go and left him alone because he was happy now and even though I was hurting becausing all the lying and cheating he did behind my back I accepted it. It just baffles me that I truly loved this guy and I gave my all to him (including money and gifts which I don't regret today because I did it cause I loved him) and he can just make it known that those three years we were together meant nothing to him and I was just an object to compare to something else. I truly did think that in the end he would apologize for what he did to me but now it hurts (but it has made me wiser and stronger ) to know that he just used me. As for the psycho part I didn't stalk him I called him for like 2 and a half weeks after he broke up with me begging him to take me back and crying pleading with all my heart to love me. But then I just let it go knowing that he wanted to be with the girl he was cheating with behind my back. At first I cried a little but then I stopped and I didn't feel that much hurt and something inside me said that they are just words and they can't hurt me and they shouldn't curb my progress to finding happiness and trying to put back the pieces of my broken heart. In someways I am confused as to why he is so happy and in love when he caused all the pain and hurt....but I assume that is just the way life works the bad intentions always get good rewards. Maybe you guys can just give me some words of encouragement but I don't feel awful like i thought I would. I wonder when I will be able to look back and not feel a thing about this.....i guess time needs to run its course.....thanx guys for listening....any of you can email me...I really need someone to just lift my spirits because I just feel that I can't console in my friend anymore...sad to say this but I just don't trust her anymore...And she is the one who brings him up! I always tell her that I have moved on and I am just happy for him in finding his happiness

But In my last sentence I will say this I won't waste my tears on him anymore.

Hi.

It's really great how you have been handling this. I know people who have held grudges on lesser things for a lot longer than you have. I'm proud of you.

I'd also like to say, he's a jerk. People only call other people psychos, and bitches when there is nothing else to call them. From what you have told us, your ex didn't insult anything specific about you... only that you were hurt a great deal when he cheated on you.

He's an just an idiot. And the fact that he seems so unaffected by yours and his break up is, to me unsurprising. He didn't have to go from knowing you were with someone, to all of a sudden being by yourself. He just went from you to her.

As for you friend. To me it seems as though the two of you got together on the account of your ex and the breakup. Maybe she can't really relate to you if your ex isn't in the picture. What I mean is, that was the glue that held you two together... now that you don't want it to be there anymore, the glue is gone. If you want to remain friends with her, I think having a good heart to heart is in order. Make it clear to her that you want to leave the past behind you.

But all in all, I think you are doing a slendid job of moving on after such a hard blow. And don't listen to him, or what he says about you. He's not worth it anymore. Best of luck!