Issues of trust and love...

My gripes probably aren't very different than most of the threads in here, but I need to get this off my chest and I figured if I could get fresh perspectives too it couldn't hurt.

I'm afraid that my issues with trust are going to hurt the relationship I'm in. I hate the feeling of unease and I'm not typically jealous. The person I'm seeing now was in the middle of seeing two other girls when we first got together, but we weren't serious or exclusive at the time so it didn't really bug me. This was almost a year ago.

We've become more serious within the past two or three months and we've gotten to know eachother very well. I know that his past shouldn't influence our relationship but recently I found out that he'd saved pictures and conversations he had with these other girls on his computer. They're dated exactly when I knew he was seeing them and didn't find anything more recent than four months ago, but I find myself being a little worried that he may still have feelings for these other girls.

When I found out the other two girls he was seeing were unavailable to him because of circumstance, it made me wonder if his interest in me was only because I was convenient. One lived thousands of miles away and the other got a steady boyfriend. I asked him if I was just a backup and was reassured that the feelings he has for me are genuine. He tells me he loves me.

Still I can't shake the feeling that he's only interested in me because he can't have the other girls. You know, "the love the one your with" thing? It's terrible and I know that everytime I question his fidelity and trust it's damaging to the relationship. I don't know what else to do.

Thanks for your time and advice.

Ahh, I just had a lengthy response to you.. and ack, I lost it. However, I shall try this again, just a sec. - stupid computers!

Ok, here we go...

Well, this is rather interesting to me because I'm in the positon of being one of those OTHER girls (FAR AWAY)!

Anyway, because of the situation we couldn't really date-date because of distance. Nonetheless, that didn't stop me from falling hard, like REAL hard.... ahh. With this person, I finally felt understood, ya know? We started out as friends, but we felt there was more there, but yet... ya know we couldn't really do anything about it. However, (and lets call this person "it" shall we.) Anyway, so "it" was also seeing someone else while we were also getting closer, just causal tho, so all is good. Well, I thought.

Anyway, to cut a LONGGG story short. "it" went away for a week with a bunch of friends but that OTHER person was also joining, so in the back of my mind I figured something would happen. Anyway, it turned out that this OTHER person confessed love for "it" and "it" also obliged EVEN tho I existed. Damn, it's hard, and it still is.. considering I hold on to things and it's hard to let go, and I really loved or love this person.

BUT! to get to my point... just because your guy was talking to other girls and saved pics or whatever... (and I swear that is just because of sentiment), it doesn't change the fact that HE DOES want to be with you!! OR seriously, he wouldn't, like honestly think about it... he wants to be with you!! Listen to the OTHER girl (hehe) you ARE speical to him or he wouldn't be with you, ok? I know this... I mean, if you really love someone or want to be with someone you'd do anything to be with them, and what's distance, ya know? SO YES... seriously, HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU and ONLY YOU!

Take Care

PS>>> My response was way better before.. urg! But what'cha gonna do, I suppose.

well, since you can not say for sure that he will be unfaithful, based on the situation when you first met him, I think that you should give him, as well, yourself, a fair chance at developing a relationship. Dont allow your views of him, interfer with anything that may possible grow between the two of you. We all have to take chances in life, and hope for the best, but as you get to know him better each day, you will also grow to know if he is sincere in the things he says to you, or the way he treats you, also.

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