is this normal?

I have just come to the conclusion me and my ex will never get back together. I have never felt anything the way I have felt for her and it pains me.

I feel like no one will ever compare to her, I have no interest in dating/meeting women, sex doesnt seem appealing. I close my eyes and only want her laying beside me in bed, then reality sets in and I remember it's never going to happen.

I have a hard time sleeping, I either cant get to sleep without help (excedrin pm/alcahol/nyguil) or when I can cause I am too exhausted, I always wake up early and cant get back to sleep. I cant sleep cause I keep thinking of her, and grow angry over what she has done to me. I dont eat much, so I am growing thin, weak, and having dirhea every day.

I know this isnt depression, cause I am not sad, I just dont know if this is normal. I am hoping it is and it'll go away.

anyhow, thanks for listening.

hey buddy...

i'm sure that i never really have gone through what you are going through right now, but i do think it's normal. Either you will get over it and meet someone new, or maybe you will even get back together eventually. All of us go through similar things after a breakup. Either way, i want to offer you my condolences... good luck in the future!

Fear not, Savagegerbil.

What you are experiencing is exactly like what I went through years ago with a woman who meant the world to me. I think it's probably a natural way that we work through our feelings. Fully digesting our feelings for someone after a break up can take time. I have a hunch that if you give yourself time to process, then you will be ok.

Salutations,

R6

It's been almost two weeks since my girl left me to "find herself" after 7 years of being together. My symptoms are similar to yours (no sleep, loss of weight, energy, apetite, etc.), minus the diarhea. I was initially so hurt, that my body weakened and I caught a terrible cold that is just now getting better. So yes, I guess it's normal. I DO notice an improvement with each day, although not drastic. I guess the healing process is kind of like -three steps up, two steps down, three steps up, two steps down, etc. Good luck to the both of us and all the rest of the guys here who are going through the same thing.

i guess this is normal......it happened to me but not to that extent i guess its just cuz im still in high school, and im still really young. I do kinda get mad or just upset because we made so many promises to each other and then she broke all of those when she broke up with me. I am on the varsity laccrosse team and im in tenth grade, she never came to any of my games but always promised she would come to one and then something would come up, and she always told me to score goals for her, well guess what i scored my first 2 goals of the season cuz we put a new offense in im comfortable with, and i can say happily that i scored them for myself and my team.....if anyone cares we beat them 5-4.......its been like a week and a half and i still do love her but i dont think im ever going to have another chance , but im cool with that cuz i guess we just werent meant to be together, maybe she figured that out before me.

anyway good luck with your problems time will heal ur heart, its the only way

I'm not far from where you are. After 25 yrs my wife decided she didn't want to be married & wanted to find herself. It's tough to fumble through all the emotions I know your feeling. Somehow you've got to tell yourself it will get better. After the initial shock your emotions will level out somewhat and you can start thinking clearer. During this time you've got to take care of yourself. Its going to be real tough to face up to reality and even tougher to put the thoughts of her behind you. I'm still working down that road. I've found that doing what you can to not have any contact or conversation with your ex helps. Slowly, very slowy time will also help. I'm finding it all comes in small steps. If you can talk to your family or friends that will listen, it also helps to talk about it sometimes. I really understand what your going through & its a rough road, but its one we didn't have a choice in taking. I hope it gets better for you soon!

You are exactly where I am now. I moved in with the absolute love of my life, took my 3 children out of their schools and home to do it, and on Mother's Day after only 3 months of liuving together, he told me that he must leave. We got along perfectly, were very, very happy, and what happened? I don't understand. I think I will never again meet anyone as wonderful and as good of a person as him. We were so, so good together.

I think you are feeling normal. Just feel what you feel, I guess, and I am told this will pass in time. I feel a little better, myself, sharing with others and grieving with others who are going through the same thing and feeling the same things. Maybe that will also continue to help you. From what I understand, we have a long way to go in healing our hearts. We're going to have to accept being miserable for awhile.

I know how you feel as well. My wife left me after 7 years of being together and 3 years of marraige. All in one day she did a 180 degree turn around. The day before she was happy and we were talking about so many hopes and dreams for our future. She said that the reason she had to leave was to find herself and gain her independence so that she could be better for us. The day she left with her things my heart left with her. I have a hard time now doing things without thinking about her. I've cried and pleaded with her but there is nothing that I could do or say to bring her home again or wake her up. That has been over two weeks now.

This post really helps. Let's you know that you're not alone. There are a lot of strategies that I found too. You need to realize that you did not Cause this, you can't control it, and you can't fix it. As soon as you realize this (daily struggle), then begin to emotionally detach.

Each day sucks and you will struggle to want to pick up the phone and call her or maybe even e-mail her - what harm will that do right? You might even feel like driving to her place and seeing if she is there. Don't do it! Don't give in to that external control, but rather gain self control and strengthen yourself.

Remember the more you contact her the weaker you will make the bond between you two and the harder she will try to free herself. So let her go and look to a future of shared moments with someone else.

Don't even hope for her to come around because she may never. It's easy to say and you will continue to feel sick but remind yourself daily that the only person who is ever going to give a "beep" about you is you and you can't control this outcome!

Good luck to you and gain strength one day at a time! We are all sufferers here of the same fate so you are not alone!

that happens to me, i even get a half bit to ulcer, because i really couldn't eat but you know, like what i did, i tell it to every person that i know even not to my close friends, because if you say more often, you will justwoke up one day and just smile at it and the pain will vanish and your life will be normal