Boyfriend is a CLUB-a-HOLIC

When i first met my boyfriend, everything was GREAT! he was great i fell in love with him we would always go out together ( everywhere including clubs ) and have fun..... but NOW... after a year things have dramatically changed... for the worse! a couple of months ago i found out that after we had an argument he went out with his friends to a club ( which i knew about ) but then i found out he DANCED with THREE different girls that night... one of whom he had JUST MET... then when i confronted him he tried to deny it at first but then came clean.. after all this everything went from worse to HELL! we went out a couple of times after that incident ( now when he goes out most of the time he just goes out with his stupid friends ... only God knows what they do! ) and he doesnt even invite me! this past month he has turned into someone i dont know... when we go out all these girls come up to him and touch him and flirt and he just stands there and takes it...even when im there! then hell just say... oh theyre my friends... WHAT!?!?! and on top of it all when they see him hug me and kiss me they give me dirty looks! the clubbing scene has torn our relationship apart.... we had a loving relationship... a trusting one..now its LOVE one minute HATE the next... i dont know what to do... hes saying im too overprotective and that he wants to break up... and maybe get back together in the future.. but no way thats ok with me because i know in the meantime that we arent together hell go out with other girls.. go out to these stupid clubs and do things i would never be able to except ...not now not later! so now my heart is broken... the love of my life....my first love...my everything is slowly turning into a SLUTTY GUY....actually he already has.. and now i have absolutely no trust.. i cant even trust him at the GYM. Because i have this image of him talking and flirting with every girl.. and ive seen it with my own two eyes so it hurts even more.. and now when he goes out with his friends... no matter what i do.. even if i go out with my friendsi think about him all night and what hes doing... i was never like this and i hate it.. i hate being so bothered all the time and thinking that hes out doing things he wouldnt want me to do with other guys! the one thing i do know for a fact.. is that hes never cheated and thats just one of the reasons im with this guy.. but then again he flirts.. is that cheating??? what about dancing at clubs???? what about meeting girls and talking to them / dancing with them at clubs??? cheating???

Well girl, I can say that it seems like you have a major problem on your hands. Trust is a main part of a relationship, without trust, you might as well have nothing. Love is trust and trust is love. I know what its like to be on both sides of this situation, and I can tell you that neither one is easy. But the point of what I'm trying to say is, is that if you can't trust the guy, theres no point at all... Cheating is different things to different people. In a relationship the two people need to have a common ground about what is cheating and whats not. I know me and my boyfriend had a big discussion about it because through my eyes kissing another person is cheating, but to him its not.. you know what I'm saying? Y'all 2 have to have the same rules in mind on whether y'all are cheating or not. I know I wouldn't exactly be thrilled if my boyfriend were all over other girls at clubs, but than again thats something I could forgive him for, after all he could be doing worse. You just have to remember that he loves you.. not them.. He might find everyother girl attractive, but out of all the girls in the world, hes with you... and if that doesn't help I don't know what will. Trust has to earned back, and thats something your guy has to do.. Both of you need to change, but y'all need to change together. You need to realize that this guy probably deserves a lot more credit than you think.. after all, why are you with him and not some other guy? Relationships are always so great in the beginning when the love is new, but love can't stay strong and grow without the effort of the people. You have to keep your love strong and so amazing as it was when y'all first met.

~Jenn

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