Feed back needed Lesbian relationship

I've been with my girlfriend for about almost 9 months now. I love her very much we met online and we haven't actually met in person. I know most people try to tell me how do I know this is love cause in my heart I know it is. I'm not asking for that kind of feedback. We are plannin to meet up this July 2003 and Im scared about it. I don't want to ruin anything and she keeps telling me shes not going no where. I seriously don't like that promise cause we have broke up a while back. Her ex came back in her life and she wasn't sure about things and needed a week break from us to sort stuff out. That's also been bothering me cause she didn't just hang out with her ex it was intimate and stuff. That stuff still bothers me cause it didn't happen not so long ago, but none the less I forgave her, but just having a hard time moving away from that. Also Ive been with a girl, but that wasn't much and Ive been interested in girls for a long time and never did much anything about it. Im really confused and Im just blabbing everything all out of order so bare with me. Don't get me wrong even thought that stuff with her ex Gema happen doesn't mean I want to just move on cause I love her and its just a fact forgiveness and stuff don't just happen over night. Im totally scared of how things are gonna be when we first get intimate cause shes afraid about that as well and about it messing up. Ugh I don't know Im just really feeling like lost and just wanted someone opinion, feedback or something like that. You can ask more about the relationship if you need more info just let me know. Im basically scared about being intimate for the first time and just having a hard time moving on from that past bad problem. Thanks again for reading along my messed up entry. Tee

...I can see you've been waiting most of the day for something, so I guess I'll give it my best.

Anxiety about meeting someone offline for an eyeball is normal. Have spoken over the phone? Have you exchanged pictures? Does she take you seriously, or is she simply using you in case her ex finally gives her the heave-ho?

I personally won't let myself fall in love with someone until I've had a few dates with them. I need to know that they are a person of good character and are reliable, honest and can talk about their feelings clearly before I get into the stuff about shared values, interests, ideals and so forth.

Letting someone into your life should be a process that progresses from simple companionship (the event is more important than the person you are doing it with) to friendship (the person is more important than the event), to romantic friendship (a friend with whom you are infatuated and physically intimate with) and into partnership (marriage, living together, etcetera). Doing a good job at identifying each stage along the way and taking your time are indicators of good self esteem.

It is impossible to really have a functional romance without physically being a couple. So falling in love isn't an appropriate thing to allow yourself to do...it's walking into a minefield -- you are bound to get hurt.

The real question is, "why did you fall in love with someone you couldn't be physically close to?" What's up with that?

The infidelity issue is bound to occur in a distance relationship of any sort. It's just not realistic to be living separate lives and be calling what you have together a partnership, or even a romance. You have to have the person where you can touch, support and be with them or it's all just a big fantasy game. In games someone always wins and someone always loses.

So don't play games with anyone, especially yourself.

I had a feeling this is the feedback I would get and I respect your opinion. But I never said there was infidelity aka Cheating in this relationship. That happen we took some time apart. Also I trust her and thats a big thing in relationship and without trust there is nothing more to a relationship and it can't continue. I trust my gf and I love her very much. We are meeting in July to spend some time together for about a Month. Then seeing as we are very into eachother and know what eachother want we are gonna try living together. I know its hard to see it from my point no physical contact and yes we do talk on the phone as well as do voice and cam talks. But like I said we trust one another the big issue here at hand was the intimate the first time being that I haven't been with that many girls. Her and I actually had a long talk today and I feel much better now that we did and it clear up the intimacy problem and yeah were both gonna be scared, but its a learning process together where we can explore and see what the other wants out of that. Im not ususally able to talk about you know this stuff, but being this is not people I know its not so hard. But seriously thanks for your feedback and I haven't really been waiting all day. I think you got the issue a little wrong cause I didn't really say much about the relationship at hand. But again Thanks for the feedback. from Tee