badly needed advice for parents only

ok me and my husband are seperating our children are five and two

heres the problem i have no clue how to explain to my kids whats going on what am i suposed to tell my 5 yr old when she asks why her daddy isnt home ect. ect please any input on this would be greatly apreciated

Hi,

I am so sorry to hear about the seperation, but you have to expect your kids to be upset. I am a teen, my parents separated 5 years ago, and i was very upset. Be honest is the first piece of advice don't sugarcoat it, they wll know the truth soon or a later... and anymore information i have for you, your gonna have to email me about cause i dont wanna pst it on this website... email removed

Calibabe007

Children are extremely resilient and perceptive. They probably already have a pretty good idea of what is going on. I first left my boys' dad when the oldest was 2. We moved back together and had another baby a couple of years later. We lasted all of 10 months the second time. My oldest was already in kindergarten and he had to change schools and make new friends when we moved. He took it very well. He thought it was very nice to not have to listen to mommy and daddy yelling anymore. The youngest is another story. He was only 1 when we separated. He doesn't remember what it was like, and he still adores his daddy (he is almost 5 now).

I married a wonderful man 2 years ago and he is now daddy to both my boys. They love him very much and I finally get to model a healthy marriage for my boys. They see how their father lives and they both know that we are so much better off without him. I would never deny him access and our relationship is much better now that we are apart.

When we moved out I just explained to the boys that mommy and daddy could not get along but that we both loved them very much. They would live with me but they could still see daddy whenever they wanted. They don't spend much time with him anymore but it is his and their choice. They are smart boys and they know that living with him would never have worked out for any of us. It is so much better this way.

Be straight with the kids. They might be angry for a while but they will understand. Likely they will be very supportive to you because they love you and do not want to see you unhappy. Give them some credit.

Good luck to you