Jump to content

commitment avoider


Recommended Posts

hey...

 

ive been dating the most awesome guy for almost a year now. during the duration of our relationship we have lived several hundred miles apart. being so, we spent most of our communications on-line or on the phone, often several times per week for several hours per time. emails and im were nearly daily. we took turns visiting one another about once per month, and i went to california to visit him and meet his friends and family over christmas. everything has been going great. and, i was due to move to be in the same city as him in two weeks to a month. in fact, i was starting to look for apartments. and then the other day i got the phone call. he told me that he doesnt think hes ready to be in a commited relationship. he finds himself attracted to other women, and doesnt know how long he can continue to resist temptation (one of his co-workers/friends has been very open about her intent to get him into bed). he says he needs to figure out who he is. but during all of this, he says he still loves me. my picture is still next to his bed for him to look at every night and every morning. what am i to think? in the past he has been hurt very badly. and on numerous occasions, including his most recent visit, he has stated that he fears that some day i will just leave him broken hearted while i myself will move on unscathed. from my perspective he is freaking out about possibly getting too close and getting hurt. my move is a big step forward for us, and to him this means the liklihood of getting hurt is that much greater. he knows i will give him time to grow. to learn who he is. ive made this perfectly clear. but ive made it also perfectly clear that i will not allow for a third person to get involved in our relationship. and, he says he cant choose. this girl, this coworker of his, is opening the door to a social life for him where he lives. until recently, he has been very unhappy due to not knowing many people in his city. again, what am i to think? im so confused.

Link to comment

Hey girl first of all how old r you and him? wel im 24 and i stayed with this guy for 2yrs and 4months and yes i gave him time for him to figure out what he wanted. he avoided to get married and he said he was not ready yet. that he will do it when the moment is right. oh well we went on and off like that breaks and coming backs. he said the loved me until one day he asked for a break and he said he met someone else and that is why he was not sure of us. well just like that girl i had so many nice mature guys wantingn to go out with me but me for respect to him rejected them. well now he left me and i stayed with nothing. while i could have been married already with other person and not waste time with him. well all i can tell you is that ur wasting ur time with someone who does not appreaciate u cuz if now he says he is not sure just think after another year he will be worse. u will start seeing alot of rejection from him and if u stay with him more time it is going to be hard to get over him cuz i passed through it. im telling for u it is time to break this from the root and move on before is too late and when u break up and he is meant for u things will come easy and he will look for u but if not then move on girl there r so many nice guys out there and dont waste ur time with someone who does not appreaciate u. im telling u cuz believe me i jpassed through all of that. 2yrs 4months and he did not even had the guts to break up in person just by emails and phone. and now u see he is calling me like crazy now after he left me and hunged up the phone on me so many times whle i beg him not to leave me. now after 2months and a hald he broke up with me im happy and now imt alking to a army dude. he is at war now but he is coming to visit me in the middle of may but yes im happy now, even if it does not work out with this guy i have other guys from navy ect after me and i have to test the waters. all i can tell u is dont get obsess with that guy. let him go cuz later is going to be hard and all ur relationshiop is going to become is that u guys r not going to love each other, u guys r going to be used to each other only. that is what happened with me. even though my ex lives five minutes down the road during the last 6 months i was with him he did not see me much but fridays cuz he said he was busy etc. well i loved him so much but now i realized there r so many guys to choose from cuz even my ex was violent with me. well i know it hurts to think about the breaking up part but if he is not sure at the end either him or u are going to end up splitting. before he does it and kicks u on ur butt u do it cuz it feels bad when a guy dumps u trust me.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...