I'm in love with my straight frined

Hi. I'm student and my classmate became my best friend. He was always checking me out in class, looking at my body in a very sensual way. Also, he was very sweet in the way he used to talk to me. He is gorgeous, so I just fell in love with him. I told him I was gay, he said it was OK, but after that he changed, he became very self-consious, he said later that it was disgustibg and gross to be gay. For the way he acts, however, I don't think he likes girls. He is always checking out at guys. We don't talk very often now, but every time we do, he is trying to put me away at the same time he looks at me like if he wanted to kiss me. That's why I still thinking I have shot and I can't get over him. What shoul I do? I can't tell him I love him, because he is "supposed" to be straight. But he acts gay to me. What do I do?

this is a rather tough situation and I can only offer possibilities of "why". This friend of yours could have been "checking you out" in a completely innocent manner. He may have been looking at you with envy, or in his own thoughts, comparing himself to you. On the other hand, he may have been broought up in a strict family where homosexuality is looked down upon, and if he is, in fact, gay, he may not be willing to admit this to himself for that reason. Matter of fact, he may not want to admit it to himself for any reason, for fear of being rejected by our close-minded society. On a third hand, he may be gay, and he may not have a feaer of being open to it, but he may not have established his sexuality yet. I am sure there are plenty of other possibilities, but I think it is important for you to not to add any pressure to the situation. It may make him very uncomfortable. And you may end up not speaking at all. Try to just be friends without making any comments or giving any sexual looks or anything like that. He knows everything that you have told him, he got uncomfortable. If you pressure anything, he may get more uncomfortable with it, but if you act as if it never even happened, he may become more at ease with you over time.

your in a dificult spot. see some people are more comfratible with their friends having a crush on them. others are assholes and make a bigger deal than they need to.if it turns out that your friend is gay then he might be having the same feelings twords you that you have for him.he might be afraid of what might happen if you found out that he was having those feelings.ive gone through the same thing except for my friend happens to be bi.i told her how i felt and she didnt act any diffrent. i did get turned down. but now that she knows how i feel she doesnt send the same signals because i told her that i was getting really confused about how she felt about me. but all you can do is wait and see what happens. wait a while and if he starts to send you signals again then tell him how you feel. it might help.

Thank you both for posting back.

There is no way I can be 100% sure whether he is gay or not. I just have that feeling. Gay-dar I suppose.

I have always been very sure about my sexual orientation and I was aware I was gay when I was about 14. At that time I felt mostly lonely, and I would love to have had a friend to talk to. That's way I think this guy would be happy to know some other gay guy, like me. I would. I don't understand how a 23 year old man like him doesn't even know what he likes, or is so confused about it. That is the reason I would like to tell him he could be gay and also I love him, maybe that way he realizes his own feelings. However, I can't be so intrusive in his own life, he may not be ready, it copuld be traumatic for him. But his life must be already traumatic this way. So I could help. Right ???

As you said...take that first step ahead and everything else will follow.

If I don't take the firtt step, he won't do it for sure.

I'm so confused, sometimes I can't even sleep at night just to try to figure out how make him understand how I am and how he is.

Thanks for any other comments, it's nice to hear opinions.

hey im glad i could help out a little. sorry i cant help out more, but im going through my first problem like that. i hope that everything works out. and it takes some people longer to figure out whats going on in thier lives, so give it time. if he is gay then you can help him get through all the new feelings hes having.later.

rc