i feel murdered inside......

as i sit here crying i wonder to myself what the hell is wrong with me. i had a 4 year relationship with my ex and weve been apart for about 3 months because we needed some space. lately weve ben getting closer again and i kill myself every second thinking about not having her. i tell her how i feel, i show her how i feel, i surprise her, i love her so damn much. and she keeps throwing me away. she says speciffically when shell call, then she wont call or return my cals for a week......she says we will do something, then when i show up at her house she wont come outside. today we actually had linch and she said she wanted to hang out tongiht......so i call her, and she tells me to stop calling her and shell call me when shes ready to talk.......she doesnt want me in her life at all. i really feel like i dont want to live anymore. i cant stop loving her no matter what she does. i make myself sick and i cant stop. i do other things, i hang out wiht other people, but the entire time i feel like shit and i just start balling like a little kid all the damn time. she wont get out of my head. no matter how horribly she trats me i keep trying and getting hurt worse and worse each time. sorry for all the babbling. all i want to do is sit and cry for the next 10 years.....ive never felt so useless and hopeless in my life. everyone tells me what your going to say.....she doesnt deserve you, move on, and so on......but i cant. yesterday i stopped breathing i was crying so damn hard........i just dont know what to do....my life has stopped.

dearest burtonfolife, if you read my post you know that I'm hurting as well, right now I feel the same, but hun we need some hope. I hurt like you do, but maybe there's hope ya know? If you want to talk pm me any time.

Hey Man, I totally understand what you are going through. I have been broken up with my girlfriend for a month, but everyday it seems like it just happened. She broke up with me after 3 years, and I was and am still devastated. But you know what even though I still hurt so bad and feel so empty, lifeless, powerless, and unloved by the person that loved me alot for the past 3 years, I realize there is nothing we can do to get them back. The only way is to give them time, and if they truly love us, they will come back. Last night I went pub crawling and still when i was pissed all I could think of was her. I know I love her and it isnt because I depend on her, its because when I look into her eyes all I see is happiness, and warmth, and this feeling that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. And like you, to feel that they dont feel the same right now or may never at all, hurts us to depths only people like us that have experienced this, will ever understand. Please man don't feel lifeless like there is no tomorrow because like you said it has been a few months already and your still here. I feel lifeless alot at points of the day, especially when the good memories come up, such as our vacation this past summer while we were cuddling on the beach under the night sky, lit with stars, and telling each other how much we loved one another. Those memories I dont regret at all, and I will cherish for the rest of my life. But right now me and you have to let them go, let them be, let them live the life they will somehow choose to find, because right now they are unsure, I dont know the total reason w hy you guys broke up, but if your ex was sure of you two you guys would be together working things out, so right now for your ex and mine there is something missing for them. Something that can take months, years, or even more. Like me I bet you always have this hope or this feeling that she will come back. When the doorbell rings at my house all i can wish for is it to be her, or when my phone rings. We have to let that go for now, and if they truly love us like we do for them, we will get back together. I feel what your feeling, i seriously do, and alot of people on here have as well. Just hang in there man, and if you need to talk, drop me a msg here or at my email. Through times like this, the only way to get through it is to talk with people, and get it out. I am still talking with people about it everyday, and I still hurt as bad as day one, but its only the beginning so lets see what time will do for us, for her, and for everything else that will let us have a life we want. Be Strong man.

Ok everyone...I have been where you are as well. The only difference is that I went through it 5 years ago. Man, I wouldn't wish that on anyone because it was the hardest part on my life. I was so hurt that I would hide away from the rest of the world and just hurt...but, after years of thinking I realized that all that I went through was worth it. I didn't date anyone for the first 2.5 years and now for the past 2.5 years I am in a relationship with the best and most beautiful girl I have ever met. when I got hurt I was no good to anything or anyone for 4 months...then eventually I began doing more and more. Don't go out with other friends or even start dating just because you think that will get you over her...it won't if anything it will make you feel worse. What you have to do is STOP calling her or going see her...let your self love her (because you sure as hell can't stop it) but don't continuously set yourself up for another rejection...just go home each night and do your own thing. Build yourself back up and when you feel strong again get out there and give them hell. In my case I was pitiful for 4 months...but when I was ready I exploded back to life and she ended up coming back to me...when she did I couldn't go back because I realized that it wasn't worth the risk....if you did all you could for her and you did it honestly SHE WILL BE BACK...but it has to be on her terms if it isn't she won't be back for long.

Hang in there....e-mail me if you need email removed

I got your back kid...don't worry!

the first step is made, you had acepted this relationship keeps pushing you to the edge of madness. Had told you how broken is your life because of her. which is a HUGH thing to do to healing. to clean your life. to have a new beggin.

Asking yourself Why you cant turn around and set the end, doesnt help.

Better to find what else you got there. what are things left. where was your life before you met her. Dont call her, avoid seen her, anything thats remind her. It can take years, but if you walk now a litle bit away from her and her memories, a litle bit every day, after a while you will start to feeling free, kilometters away. There will be days when you will ask, ¿Why i was so tied to this woman?

I send you hope,

If you are crhistian, pray, if you are not, try to it does help.

hughs.