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Dear cs20thcenturyfox,

I really feel for you especially when a small child is involved.

Basically, you feel that your needs are not met, and you feel that your arm has to be twisted in order to give in to his needs. Love shouldn't make you feel like you're "pressured" into doing something you do not wish. If it does, that's not real love. It's called selfish "self" love - he loves himself more than anybody else, and takes in no consideration for your well-being, yourself, etc.

Don't feel guilty, when he makes you feel as though you are responsible for his "unhappiness". He probably wants out of the relationship, but a little too afraid to bring it up.

This is something you'll have to decide and search the answer deep within yourself. Can you live with this situation for the rest of your life and sacrifice your own happiness? If this continues, it's just a matter of time that one of you are going to have an extramatrital affair because we the emotional void in your lives are not filled, and that's not the solution either.

Now that you have a small child to consider, sometimes on the long-run, it might be better for the small child to not grow up in a family like that, because unfortunately, he's going to learn to be like the "daddy". Children learn with their eyes, not with their ears and they learn by example, and they learn fast! If that's the way "daddy" shows "love" to mommy by being demanding, then I can do the same to my future wife. Ultimately, you'll have to be thinking of your son's "future" family happiness as well. Is the father living by good example for your son to follow and grow? If he isn't, then you might have to start thinking of a backup plan. For example, after being aware of the situation, can you put up with the situation for another 6 months to 1 year, and work, until you have enough savings, etc. What about your child, etc.? Can you guys work things out?

To fill the empty void in your life, make sure you have a good, supportive circle of friends and family around you, and find love WITHIN yourself first, so that you could be the good "mommy" your son deserves to have.

Just somethings to ponder on.....pray hard.

Hi Fox,

Funny to see how you have chosen a 'Fox' nickname, too I welcome you to eNotalone.come and thank you for posting your questions here. I am sorry to hear what you are going through and what your b/f is doing to you. I wish things would have been different to you.

I would like to show you a rule I live by in life: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy." I believe this is basically what popeye also said and it is true. You cannot make sacrifices, if you are not a 200% behind decisions you make. No matter how much you love this guy, you always end up hurt, either by making the sacrifice and offers that make you feel unhappy, or by hearing from him how much it hurts him.

I understand it is hard, but I think that by moving out you will make another good decision for you in the long run. I hope this helped you a little and I wish you strength and luck the coming period.

~ SwingFox ~