just broke up feel suicidal please help

i broke up with my boyfriend in uk after a one year relationship. i am in the usa and we had everything planned, marriage, kids, career, places we will see together. although it was a long distance relationship i stayed committed all along. he did too for a long time. but suddenly last december i got this call from a girl in uk saying that she has been seeing my boyfriend for a while now. when i confronted him, he agreed, apologised profusely, and tried to make amends to the best of his abilities. yet although i forgave him, i felt this permanent pain that he lied, cheated, when all i did was wait for him patiently. i truly loved him ad we had the most perfect chemistry which is why i am suffering so much now. i even got a great job in uk and decided to move-in with him. but i couldn't finally because the hurt was so much that i felt that i would spoil things for him if i continue without forgetting and forgiving completely. so finally i called it quits. ever since i decided to let go, i m hurting tremendously. i feel suicidal and dont know what to do. please help.

It sounds tough on you. I know exactly how you feel. All you have to remember is you arnt alone. There are other people out there who know exactly what you are goin though. That thought of knowing there are others helped me out heaps. So just remember that. No matter what, there are others in the same situation. Hang in there. You will feel better soon.

Sonja i have been there and i know what it felt like. heck i still know how it feels. dont go about think the suicidal thoughts. it only progresses into worse thoughts. you as a person will not fall to that. it's horrible and you know ill pass on what i was told. that your life is worth more than a person who hurt you. and it is true why get thoughts like that and give up all hope of find some one better and closer. he's not worth it if he's doing all of this to you. you're a better person than that and will always. everyone here at enotalone.com and your friends and family will help you. please i have been there, dont go that route. it will just make your life harder and worse to handle. do things that will take you mind off of it or do things with people so that you're not thinking about it. i hope you can use this advice. take care and write back.

thanks so much guys. although your words make sense, life seems to have reached a complete halt. i dont know how i will carry on anymore. we dreamt of a life together,i know he tried his best, i dont blame him, dont feel any animosity towards him. just that it seems like my all so perfect life does not exist anymore. i dont feel like going out cause i believe that he was the most perfect one for me. i end up comparing others with him in my mind and no one seems as perfect. i am devastated.

Sonya!!! My God you give so much self worth to this relationship!!! You are and will always be YOU....after all he did fall in love with you ...did he not? Maybe the pressure of the "long distance"thing got to him and he met this person not to hurt you but because it was convenient.

Nothing is ever over!!! Meaning if it was meant to be ...then it will be...But you will never find that out if you continue down the route you are going. Your thoughts are normal at this time...it is just a stage. I recently went through the same thing. After a month I realized there was nothing wrong with me...there was something wrong with us together. This pain is going to hurt for a little bit....but it is not the end of you. Please find something about yourself you love...and let it shine.....that is how you will learn to love again.... any maybe he will see the spark as well.

Hi Sonja

I wish there were something I could say. I had to reply because the

pain in your post was so evident. You seem like a very intelligent, kind

and forgiving person. Your boyfriend was unfaithful and you obviously

have enough self-respect that you couldn't carry on in the relationship after finding this out. Long-distance relationships are hard! I think it's

terrific that you remained faithful to him despite this hardship and you

should be proud of yourself! You held yourself above reproach; not many can claim this I'll bet. Suicide is not the answer. I work in a field where I

see many families and young lives destroyed because of this. You feel all alone but you are not, I promise you this! Take it real easy on yourself

right now; eat your favourite foods, sleep, take long baths, whatever it is that gives you comfort. If these suicidal feelings persist, please call someone at your local mental health crisis centre it would be completely confidential and it might help for you to talk to somebody about how you are feeling. Please let us know here how you are doing .. I'll be watching for your posts. Hang in there and God Bless.

Try to put him out of your mind completely. You still know how to love and the right person will come to you eventually. Be strong, you are making one of life's hardest adjustments. When you get your head straight, you'll be surprised at how much you've grown!

Hi Sonja,

As the brother of a younger sister, I have seen my sister go through a depression over a guy who she was seeing. I just want you to know that you are not alone girl. Your guy must be something special for you to feel this way over him. Perhaps he will notice how you feel about him and will show some compassion. It really is tough when someone plays with your heart the way this one is doing. What I tell my sister is that at this point in time things are really tough and if she focused on helping others instead of thinking about her lost man, she will find her TRUE love.

Best Wishes

Sonja.. I know exactly what you feel. I have a guy who lives about 250 miles away from me and we planned to do all the same things you and this guy planned to do. One day my life seemed so perfect and the next I was watching my life crumble before me. I want you to know that because of this it'll make you stronger than you ever thought you could be. I know at this moment you probably think because this guy has another girl youre not as good. But let me tell you something. Just because one guy hurt you, you shouldn't ruin your life. I know its hard, and Long distance relationships are hard to begin with. When you fall in love, you fall in love, no matter if that person lived next door, or on the other side of the world. I can tell you like many people before me have said.. Don't give up hope. I know that I love the guy who lives 250 miles away from me VERY much. And as weird as it may seem, if it makes him happy to have a girl who lives near him, and he gets the chance to have one he really likes, I want him to. I know that his love for me won't change no matter what girl he dates. You have to have faith in your relationship, and oversee the things he does that you don't exactly agree with. I understand that you feel like he betrayed you because you've done nothing but wait on him and hes seeing another girl. Guys do wrong alot.. the same as us girls do a lot of things that aren't right. Just because hes dating, or seeing this other girl doesn't mean that his feelings for you have changed any.. just remember that. Have faith Girl.

~Jenn

Hey girl

Hang in there. The only men who are worth your tears are the ones who will never, ever make you cry. He's not worth it, especially if he was willing to cheat on you. My boyfriend slept with my best friend while I was sleeping, only 10 feet away. I know how you feel; you're wondering what the other girl has that you don't that made him want to do this, you're wondering exactly what you did wrong...but you know what?? You did nothing wrong. He's the one who messed up here, so why are you willing to punish yourself? This is going to hurt, but if he was willing to cheat on you, he didn't care about you as much as you did about him. Committing suicide would only make him see that he won the war. The way to handle it is just to find someone else, who's cuter, sweeter, and will know how to take care of you, and rub it in his face. You're better than him, sweetie, you're better than anything he could ever make you want to do to yourself, including suicide.

~Ali~

see sonja life does move on. it never ends with suicide. destiny willhelp you and you will see that now you can find someone who you can be closer to and not have to worry about a distance between you. see it's just something for you to overcome. it's an obsticle that you can win over. but you need to take that challange and go through all the way with it. see im glad that some one told me, because if not then i wouldnt be here today, and i wouldnt of seen my last 5 birthdays. with each and everyday you get stronger but only if you let yourself. if you dont then the mind will not be the same and you will have a very hard time being with someone else. so get up let the sunlight shine on your face sonja because if you do that then everyday you will be able to wake up and look outside and see the sun and it shine down you giving you hope for a brighter day. life will exist, but only if you choose to let it. and you always have a purpose in life, everyone does. take care sonja and your welcome, always an honor.

I am trying my best to be strong and I know I will probably be successful eventually specially with all the help from you folks. Thanks a lot for your care and concern. I have a few questions to ask though. This pain will go away, won't it? I don't want to get into any relationship or even casual date right now. I want to take things very slow, get over the hurt which seems impossible right now. Does time really heal?

Secondly I have this great job in UK, I am a nutritionist, should I take it? Right now I am in the USA. I was very excited about it initially because we had dreamt of a life together. My boyfriend was always very supportive of it and the worst part is my workplace is just blocks away from his business establishment. I think its a bad idea to take up this job becasue it will cause more hurt in the long run.

Thanks again,

sonja