umm... i need some help...

about 2 month ago, i'm exactly like him, i have no friend and stuff. i feel like killing myself because i feel like life have no meaning. i don't have any friend in real life becuase they make fun of what i said (i am chinese... moved to US for 2.5 years so far, i had been living in taiwan for 13 years) i was once a really happy boy who have no problem at all, but then i came here my heart went cold like frozen v_v i went completely depress just like the guy in that post above. But i then met my online gf and she incourage me to talk to people, that time, i had hope again, and give another try to making friends.

and its a success, i finally have more friends, and not so frighten to talk to some girl in my class, even jokes around with them. that time, i was very happy, every day i move my leg and take a next step, its a step with hope and happiness.

the topic that me and my online gf can talk about are gone. There's not much stuff we can talk about, and we just like have really boring conversation and the end. I once felt lonely, and i feel SO EMPTY!

i feel like there's something missing in my life, there's a place that is empty and i can't find anything to fill in. i got a feeling that is love. In my school, there's not many choice for me to choose, its because:

1. in my stupid chinese culture, i must have a chinese gf v_v

2. in my requirment the girl should be able to speak chinese

3. most of the asian girl that look pretty are taken

4. i hate to go to parties or club

i don't know what else i can do, i'm a super computer person and i don't go out at all, i'm 5''6, 125lb. my family told me that if i got a gf before college they will kill me. what do some adult here thought about this? I think i'm using that as a excuse for me not getting a gf...

online is the only place i can get a gf without looking at them and judge them with look. I KNOW ONLINE LOVE IS SO FAKE, but what else can i do?

i really feel empty, i don't know what's the meaning of life, i don't know why should i be alive or exist, i don't know how in the world to get a gf, and i wish there's somebody for me that can let me hug and tell her my story! there's so many stuff i wish to understand! but... i don't know what should i do in the next day. My friends said i think too much, but that's the personality i have! can any experenced learned people that's older then me or something help me?

maybe tell me what can i do to make my life better?

answer the question all those "i don't know" questions above?

how do i get a girlfriend in a situation like this?

is online love the most suitable thing for me right now? if so, how do i make it better between me and my online gf? we need idea and topics ;-; or some new changes

how do you make this empty feeling STOP??

Hello Destinyshine

I know its hard to find girls when the girls you want are not the ones that hang at clubs and stuff, i mean how the heck can you find the girl next door, when she stays indoors.

Online love is not fake though, you have to remember that the person on the other side is real flesh and blood. the net is just a communication tool.

like the telephone and postal service. but a thousand time better.

I have 2 female friends that both found their mates through the net and got married! I even met a girl that became my GF over the net.

When you go to collage you will have a lot more opportunity to find girls there.

Well, first, I want to let you know that there could be more meaning to life than finding a gf right now. You told me that you are 15. There is sooo much left in the world for you to seek. And sooo many other opportunities to find love. You are in one of the most akward and confusing stages in your life right now. Everything probably seems so chaotic.

As far as your parents go and all, I think that it is important for people to date while they are young in order to establish what they are looking for in a mate in the future. This is your life and you need to figure out what is important to you and how you wish to live it. I respect that your parents want to continue the culture, but if that is not the life you wish to lead, then you need to make the decision between making your parents unhappy or making you happy. Your happiness is what matters, as I see it. But I an understand the stress of your parents as well.

If you do decide to have relationships without your parents consent, then I would say that your online gf sounds supportive and caring for you and you should embrace that. If you are not happy with the relationship then you should not lead her to believe something that is not true. Try being flirtatious to other girls at school. But if you do not have a gf right now, believe me, you will someday soon. It seems like forever and all, but you will have plenty of experience in relationships soon enough. there is no need to rush things. Try to focus on yourself a bit more and exercise your talents. Ther is so much to look forward to in life. There are hard times that you will have to overcome. But stay strong!

I had an online bf, but we have conversasions that consist of "hi, sup?, k I g2g bye" and that's basically it, sometimes the weather comes into play, but things have changed so much that I feel like I'm talking to an online bot. I try to make it like it was by mentioning old jokes and stuff, but it just isn't helping. My only silution was finding another person online which to talk, but the jokes weren't the same and I realized there really was a person on the side who was completely different from the person I shared so many moments with. I also have parents that are restricting. They don't want me dating or they want to meet him and have a friend with me on dates. It's like they don't trust their own daughter. I used to pray that he, I'll refer to him as Jason *even though it's not his name*, would come online just so I could at least say "hi". he was a big part of my life for about 3 months, but all topics ran dry... I still want to know how to fill in the cracks he left in my heart. I do believe not love, but online feelings are real and genuine.

I know I might not be helping, but I think you should just talk to more people and try to talk to her some more. Ask about things you never talked about, or about how your life is better now because of her and that you really miss having decent chats with her. I do believe you guys will be fine, and about the cultural dating restrictions...... ditch them like the above you should make yourself happy with whatever girl you want, this the new millenuim and you don't always have to do what your parents say. You could try telling them you don't wish to follow old traditions and ask their permission *parents love it* to date other people, and state clearly that you'd like permission, but it is your mind is made up and you just wanted to let them know. They will feel better that you didn't go behind their backs and they found out too late. Even if they are furious, you should do what you feel is right.

Have you met the girl that you are talking to online? If she is in your area, why don't you suggest meeting her in person? The internet is an easy way to meet new people, but there are limits to what can be shared between two people online. The communication and human interaction is incomplete. Things can be very different when you are with someone in person. Sometimes net relationships don't work out when the people finally meet in person. Sometimes the relationship is taken to another level in person. It's not just the physical I'm talking about. There is so much that can be conveyed in person (through gestures, facial expressions, body language, etc) that can't be expressed through text messaging. You may find out that you two have a lot more in common in person and that you will have lots more to talk about and do together.

As for meeting Chinese girls, it depends on where you live. If you live in a city where there aren't that many Taiwanese/Mandarin girls it might be hard for you to meet someone. If you can read/write Chinese, you can use Chinese on Icq and maybe meet some people there. I also heard about this Taiwanese online simulation game (I don't know what it is called) but it's basically a reality-based game where you meet people and have relationships online and stuff. Maybe you've heard of it.

But what you might also want to do is to make some close friends from school. Firstly, that will make you feel not so lonely. You can go out with them on the weekends (play sports, go to the mall, eat, whatever). Also, they might introduce you to some of their friends so you have more chances of meeting girls that way.

As a teenager, you are already feeling lost but you have to adjust to being in a new environment too. I think you are still adjusting to a new life in a new culture and maybe you just need to feel like you belong somehow. Try to see if there are cultural centres or community centres in your area or maybe you have an special interest that you can get involved in... just so you can be around more people and doing things that you enjoy. I hope you stop feeling so sad and helpless.

God, destinyshine, you are only 15!!! Jesus, it is okay!! People around that age are all nervous and don't really know what they want, and do not know who they are yet....

Around college is the best itme to date, because even though youm ay not know what you are-you are more comfortable in your own skin...It is ok to feel the way you do. Being Chinese does not limit your social activity-it may seem like that now, but it doesn't. People whether now or later-as much as that sucks-will realize that you are worth getting to know. There are billions of different types of people-you will find one!!!

Hugs.