I need some advice

OK...

I live with a female room mate, and everything is fine between us... we're like Joey and Dawson, only without the sexual tension. Anyhow, she's starting to worry me and i don't know what to do about it.

She's anarexic. she has been for quite some time. and no matter what anybody says she refuses to get any help. she says that if she does then "the doctors/counsellors will take control of it away from me and I don't want that. also, I'm not sick enough anyways" She's 90 lbs right now.

i know that i should let her come to me if she wants help overcoming this. that i should let her crash, so that she'll see that she's really sick... but do y'all know how hard this is for me right now?

I just got through an argument with her. she tells me that emotions have no practical value. what am i supposed to say to that? i am sorry to say this but i got angry at her. how do you explain to someone who refuses to acknowledge most emotions, what they mean... how they feel.

I don't know what to do about it anymore.

This is an extremely difficult situation, and I am not sure if there is much that you CAN do to help. A large reason that people become anorexic is because that is the only part of their life that they can control. There is no use arguing to the person because they see something different within themself. They do not see what you do. Every flaw or fold of skin is overexaggerated and becomes their obsession. Once they establish a thought pattern, it is extremely difficult to reverse it.

It is hard to come up with any sort of help if she is unwilling to participate with the plan. Most help comes from treatement centers, psychologists, or medical doctors. What many anorexics do not know is that these people help establish the reasons WHY they are anorexic and target THOSE areas, rather than the anorexia or eating disorder itself. But the patients often think that the doctors will be targeting the disease, and thats why they are fearful. They do not want to lose control by someone telling them what is right/wrong or what they are supposed to do. But the MDs approach it in a more round-about manner so the patient often finds a solution to their problem and become healthier in the long run.

I can understand your concern for your friend...you care about her. I would suggest to talk to her about why she is harming herself. Inform her of the negative affects that she may not know. (rancid breath, inability to bear children, thinning hair, destruction of internal organs, pale and flaky skin, rotting teeth) she is probably concerned with her appearance so the negatives about that may affect her more. If you are willing to take drastic measures, you could contact a center and have them care for her. It is likely that she may hold a resentment towards you for some time. But I, personally, would be more concerned with a person I care about health than be overly concerned about how they may react. I would try a subtle approach before considering andthing major. Be sure to speak to her calmly rather than raising your voice. I hope this helped.