return of my ex????? what do i do?

ok, i went out wiht my previous girlfriend for 3 and a half years.......every day of it was perfect, but towards the end there were some issues with her lying to me about hanging out wiht some guy and i basically lost it. we also broke up because for some nagging reason i wanted to know what it would be like with someone else since she was the only person i had ever dated.......

after breaking up with her i began going out wiht a girl i go to school with(not right away) ive been with this girl for about 5 months and i really think im deeply in love wiht her. shes smart, beautiful, we please each other very much and besides soem random things i think shes perfect......

the girl i used to go out with hasnt really kept in touch that much which made me very very sad, but anyway shes been calling alittle more frequently lately and i dont know what to do. i think about them both every minute of every day. and i honestly love them both. my ex doesnt know(i dont think) that im going out with someone else because its never come up, and the girl im wiht now doesnt know about my ex because it hasnt come up(it really hasnt, its not that ive hid it from either one of them)...

i really dont know what to do, i dont want to lead anyone on....i wish i could have them both because i love them so damn much. anyone have any good advice?? im really bound here

Ok the first think you gotta relize is that love is a a chemical reaction that us humans were give to care for each other. The brain remembers those reations as pulses. The more that pulse occurs the more our brain remembers it and desires it. It's like an addictive drug. The more the brain gets the more it wants and the longer the affter effects last. Don't get me wrong, love is real, don't think of it as a chemical but it helps to know how it works. Anyways based on that principal if you loved your ex a lot then your naturally going to still desire her for a while. Personally myself, I think you sould give the second one the better chance. I believe that the purpose of life is to move over humps in life. Your ex still seems to care but hurt to much to show it by keeping in touch, butt if she seems to be talking to another guy it shows that she is interested in him to. Which could cause another breakup later on. I say if the second girl likes you as much as you like her then give her the first chance. Ex g/f are a stimulated response to the brain of something it had before and liked but no longer gets. So most likly you would end up better with the second girl. It's just my opinion, but I think it's the right one. These other guys like to give riddles but I'll give it to ya straight. Take the second one, cause she has done nothing wrong and theres no reason to punish her when your ex seems to be still confused.

Hi burtonfolife,

Thank you for coming to eNotalone.com with your comments and questions. First of all, I would like to explain you that I found your comments: "I don't want to lead anyone on" very mature and wise, too. It shows that you are an honest person.

My suggestion is that you sit down yourself and think what you need out of a relationship. What are you looking for in a relationship? After you found the answers, I would look at both the young ladies again and see which one matches those needs and expectations best.

On a personal note (this is MY personal point of view), I work on the premise "once an ex, always an ex". That doesn't necessarily mean that a second chance wouldn't work out at all times, because I know of at least one case in which a young woman worked out their differences in her relationship. Do know, though, that it takes a lot of work and trust to work out things with someone you have broken up with in the past. You already mentioned that you had some trust issues in the past. Are you ready for that??

I hope that this helped you in your decision and I wish you good luck

~ SwingFox ~