I need help....

Hi,

I've been separated from my wife for just over a year now and our seperation was due to the fact that she was not happy with the way things were going. We were married for 8 years and have 1 child together, we use to spend all of our time together and do everything together. We tried getting back together about 6 months ago but she said it wasn't working because she had still not met her goals of finding a job, etc... and she had given me a glimmer of hope that maybe when things got better we might be able to try again. I always remember her telling me that she got separated because she didn't want to be with anyone and was not interested in being in another relationship, she also knows that I have madly in love with her since I met her.

Now the worst part, just a few days ago I found out that she has a boyfriend now who she's been seeing for about a month, and I found out from my son whom told me Mommy has a friend that comes up to the house everyday. Needless to say I have been incredibly hurt by this and I have also been very jealous. I don't know how to take all of this and at first I thought that I hate her for doing this to me, but infact I am still in love with her and the hard part is that I still have to see her every week when I pick my son up for the weekends as I got joint custody. I told her that I was happy for her because she has found happiness, but I know deep down inside that I am not really happy and wished it was me who she was with now. What do I do? please help because I have been going through some heavy depression because of this....

Hello there. I can totally relate to what you are going through. My wife also pulled the same thing on me about not reaching her goals and needing time apart, and before I knew it, she was later involved with another guy. Though we did agree to separate and possibly see other people, I still never emotionally prepared myself for that possibility and so when it happened, I was just devastated and did not know what to do. I suggest you take some time to figure out what you really want before you make any decisions or talk to her. I talked to a counselor who really helped see things more clearly and helped make a decision that has helped me a lot through this. I believe the site is link removed .

I was hesitant about getting advice from a counselor, but I finally decided to give it a try and it really helps to open up to a professional and get some good insight and helpful suggestions. You should give it try, what have you got to lose? Just calm down and stay rational. Good luck!

David

I so understand my husband of 15 years has left for the same type of stuff and I fear the day that he will be with someone else and all the pain it is bringing my boys, be thankful your son is still small. my boys are seeing and felling it all? he seems to be so happy alone? I do not get it as most of our life together was great? or seemed so? I truly have to help to offer as I have only been separated for a feww weeks and he comes home to visit so it is so unreal and painful. I just wanted you to know I understand