Still having it tough

I really dont know what else I can do, during the day I sometimes succed in getting her out of my thoughts, but when i go to bed at night, "she" keeps returning, the breakup the lies, the good times the bad, one moment depressed and crying the next im angry, i tried reading to sleep, listening to music, watching tv, no matter what somewhere somehow her thoughts of her going through my head, this is becoming beyond unbearable, its been a month and Im still not able to sleep, sleeping pills help me fall asleep, but 2 hours later im awake and as soon as i open my eyes i feel this "flush" that just runs up my spine and neck and the reality of my nightmare becomes appearant again. there are so many things I need to know, but cannot ask her, so many things i want to say but cannot tell her, its over, and yet its never ended for me. I want to get over this, but time is doing its job too slow, my analytical brain disecting every conversation, I try and think of something else, and a few seconds later shes there in my head again, I want to get ahead in my life but having a hard time being motivated plus im so exhausted both physical and emotional im not doing my job well, I did have a couple "good" days but then im back in this rut.

I really don't get the whole story, dear friend. SO I can only say "take heart" and "find someone to confide in". Such a one will be able to give meaningful advice since he/she will know all the details. Cheers!

ya, it seems to me that you really need to bring closure to this situation...because its taking a terrible toll on you. To be in love like this with another, is definitely hard ...as you seem to be the type of guy that...when u "love"...you "Really love"...and just cant shake it off that easily as she appeared to have...im the same way...

I know you said that you cant talk to her...but may i ask why not? Is it possible to speak to her, and ask the questionst that will bring closure in ur life? If thats totally impossible, I do suggest you try something involving physical activity that will help with everything you´ve mentioned...exercise is like a miracle cure. Im not sure if ur keen on exercising, but if you just do a google search on exercise and mental health or overall health...you will see 4 urself that it offers more beneficial rewards versus paying to see a phychologist...plus, the money can be spent on a really nice outfit...that will make u feel better, n look good too...

As tough as it may hurt you stanka, change up ur routine that constantly remind u of the beautiful things that you both did together, I know we dont want to let go of the memories, altho the person we care 4 is no longer connecting with us as b4...but i find that if i change up the routine..the healing is still slow, but helps me a little more than just trying to read, or lyin there....for my thoughts on how "great or wonderful" he is to invade my mind, makin me wish that someone i care 4 felt the same, or wandering how things would be "IF THIS" or "IF THAT"...that just sux... I sleep on the average of 3 hours a nite..so i know how u must feel...but i do try to force myelf to sleep when i feel the urge to do so...

You (and I) both give great advice which works for others...i only wish that (both u and i) could follow our own examples..then we would be good to go...

good luck

cookies

Thank you Osewa77 and Cookies, its weird, I know what needs to be done and do them, but the lack of sleep is effecting me. I'll join a gym nearby, i know it will help, I used to be in one, and it helped with the stress.

i know it's a hard to "get over" but you can do it. sure she was the love of your life. but see it this way she bailed on you, not the other way around. if she did that then you have a right to be mad. not depressed. you can take only so much of this gil. if you stay in this state then she has the best of you. you need to get the best of her where she can be in your state. she wont show it but you can tell when you do get her she will be hurt. may seem like "fight fire with fire" situation. may not be that best but let her know that you were hurt and that she needs to feel it from you. thats what i had to do. when you know there is absolultly nothing left there and she's just not feeling what you are. then it's about time you give her what you feel so she can have what she gave you. may be a bit stern, but it may help you get past her and move on with a lighter load off your shoulders. but when you do it dont stall, go through with it. my brother helped me with that and gave me that confidence and it helped alot. so i thank him for that. like he said "go with the flow, dont stop for anything." and he's 15 and im 20. it's good to have someone who can give you that special power to overcome difficulties. when you can have the special power and that right time, let her have a piece of your mind. dont yell it's overrate and it takes a strain on your throat. but give her that "oh im in some deep (Fill in the blanks)" feeling. well time i go, let me know how can help you. later gil.