I can't forget him, even after what he's put me through

I am sixteen and I used to be with someone I cared very much for. He was 21 and ended up cheating on a friend of mine that he said he loved, so that he could mess around with me. Well, she eventually found out and broke up with him. She tried to warn me ahead of time that he would only hurt me. I didn't listen to her and stayed with him. His name was Edward. He and I never actually dated, just had sex. He was the one special person that I wanted to be my "first". As it turns out it meant more to me than it did to him. He used me and when he was finished using me, he moved to Tennesse with his dad. He knew I loved him before he left. He knew how much it would hurt me to see him leave. He left last January on the 22nd. I don't think I went a day since then without crying whenever I thought about him... He still writes me emails saying how much he misses meand how he wants to come back to visit soon... What he failed to mention in these emails and chats on msn was that he was dating a seventeen year old girl. He had told me before he left that he wasn't going to date another younger girl. So I guess I was good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to date. I still would forgive him after everything, and I still love him.. I don't want anyone else in my life...I would take him back in a heartbeat but it looks like he only wants what he wants, and neglects other peoples feelings... I want to move on and get him out of my mind but no matter what I try, it never works..the last time I cried about him was about an hour ago when I was writing him an email.. I was basically blowing up on him and now I feel terrible for it.. I hope he doesn't take what I wrote too badly.. any response would be helpful.. I just don't know what to do... It's driving me insane..

Ok let me tell you a bit about guys (im sure some wont agree) guys in general will classify women as 2 types, those to use, and those to respect,

I personally never "used" a woman, but thats me.

You see, you Set-up the terms of the relationship with him from the very beginning! he found you easy, and most guys just dont respect that, you just had sex, no dating, no romance, no courting, so he gave you exactly what you wanted and he got what he wanted.

remember this, You will never HOOK a decent guy just because you went to bed with them, you must put a "value" on your self!

your guy will probably never respect you, and even if you hook up later, there will always be the danger he'll find someone else.

Best thing you can do, is find someone new, and take it slow, date, have a romance, take time to see IF he is worthy of you, and then maybe and only maybe you can have sex. just play hard to get! thats if you want a serious relationship and respect.

Hi Melodies,

Welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us with your questions and feelings. You must be going through a very difficult time in your life at the moment.

Gilgamesh is right, I have a different opinion than him when it comes to playing "hard to get". I would strongly recommend you to never play a 'game' like that. There are even risks at this game, because accidently you could drive away any new love you might find. I can tell you that it would drive ME away, because I am simply not into games like that.

I am sorry to see that you would take this guy back in a heartbeat, although I do understand your feelings towards that. Loosing the first love in your life is something very difficult and not easy to understand. You might or might not get back together, I don't know. But I would like to suggest you to keep your eyes open. I would like to suggest you to go out there and meet other people. Meanwhile let time heal your wounds. Should he get back in the picture, I sure would be very careful to take him back in a heartbeat. What this guy did and is doing to you now, might happen again.

I send you my comfort and regards and I wish you good luck and strength in your healing process.

~ SwingFox ~

hi there,

yea i was just reading up on your story, and trust me he aint worth any part of your life! ta see the type of guy that i see him as is one that is not into settling down, not into love, but more into sex and the convienince of sex, it seems as if he tells you that he misses you and that he wants to visit is just so you will miss him, so when he does come back he has you on his leash to go ahead and sleep with while he is here.. look he moved on.. and you should too! your young, pretty and caring those quailties alone make you apealing to like 99% of the guys out there, and the other 1% are just jerks! i didnt go through what you went through, but i did go through a break upwhere i was dumped and heartbroken, and i miss her alot, but after coming tothis site, reading up on others stories, i feel good about myself!! im not alone, none of us are!! my advice to you is lose contact with him! he is just a mind game for you! dont email him, block his emails, adn if you ever get the erge to call him or email him quickly pick up the phone call and friend and vent vent and more venting!! and if all fails!! come online visit this site and relax!! we are here to help, but really move on, meet some new people and just have fun with friends, and most of all laugh and enjoy your time with the friends that are there, they wont abondon you!