broken hearted

About 10 months ago i started to date this guy(c.k)...well i cant really say that we were dating, it was one of those kind of flings ,like if we were at the same place at the same time then we would be toghter...anyways, it lasted for the hole summer, and i loved every moment of it. he made me fell so great, like i was the queen of the world or something, and no guy has ever made me feel that way, i liked him so much to say that i felt as if i really truly and deeply loved him and still do, (by the way, i dont say i love you to any one except my family, and im not that kind of girl that loves her boyfriend one day and then hates him the next) well as soon as the summer ended it felt as if the feelings i thought he had for me ended to. I was so confused and hurt, it didnt make no sense to me, i mean he was the kind of boy who had that " ima thug and a playa, i anit gonna love no girl" attuide and he had a lot of girls that liked him but his friends and my friends would come up to me and tell me that the way he would look at me was diffenet from the way he looked at any other girl that he has been with, they also told me that he said he was going to stop messing around with other girls and stay true to me, well..months passed and i thought about him alot and of course i couldnt get him out of my head.. a friend of mine was getting tried of me always talkin about him so she hooked me up with this guy named tony, we went out for about 3 months but it didnt feel the same and it didnt feel right, one day we were at the mall when i saw c.k, and he saw me and tony, to my surpise they are friends. and i was so shocked. later on that night tony told me that he cheated on me with the girl that hooked us up..so i dumped him, after that i called c.k up and started to talk to him and to try to get him back. he told me that i wasnt mature enough for him and that i needed to grow up, so that was pretty much the last time i talked to him, im to scared to call him now, but i want to call him up and ask him how could he just walk away from what we shared, it was great and he knows it and i know he wasnt using me for sex because i never gave it up, im a virgin, he isnt, what we had was unyeilding to me and very saced, i would of done anything for him, one time i thought he was going to tell me that he loved me, but he didnt, (he isnt one to say i love you to someone ethier) every thing reminds me of him, when ever i see him i try to act happy and make it seem like i dont even think about him any more, i guess im trying to be nonchalent about him but im really dying inside, i need help i dont know what to do

First off, I'm a guy. Just in case you don't like to take advice from a guy. If not, then stop reading. Anyway. First off, this c.k. seems like a total jerk to me. I could be wrong, but that's what it seems like to me. Not trying to be mean or anything, but I think that is why you want to go out with him. You just want someone you can't have. Which would explain why you can't get him out of your head. If that is the only guy that you like and can't convince to go out with you, then you are going to keep trying and you'll convince yourself that you love him. And that thing about you not being mature was really low. The girl that just left me after a year told me that she just didn't love me anymore, so I appreciate your stand on sex and love, but if this guy won't even pretend to love you, then he can't be any good. Coming from a guys perspective, I say you should just ignore him and try with every thread of your being to not call or write him or talk to him. And I think you should put away some of the stuff that you have TO remind you of him and go find someone who will love you and take care of you and respect your personal limits and boundaries.[/b]