Worse .. But Better ... PLEASE HELP me

My original Posting was the following:

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This was my first love. I did absolutely EVERYTHING for this girl .. treated her right .. never ever ever thought about cheating on her..took her to expensive dinners ... treated her like a queen...

All is well .. then she lies to me about another guy 2 months into the relationship ... after 4 days of begging, i TAKE HER BACK like an IDDIOT.

2 months later, on the day that we are together for 4 months, the EXACT day, she breaks up with me.. tells me her mind is on "other people, and other things".

I now am going to try and move on ... not speak to her etc..

This was a Friday night.

I am so sad i try to go out with my friends, and manage to find myself back in bed crying, thinking that she was doing the same.

Monday comes, and she beggs me to let me tell her ONE thing. Tells me that she did a couple of things she regretted this weekend, and that one was hooking up with another guy. the guy she almost cheated on me with to begin with.

I'm so ego-cracked, heart broken, and *beep* off, that i don't know what to do .. and I've never had to move on before, that I don' tknow wha tthe *beep* to do.

I miss her, but hate her ....

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An update ...

I took some of the ENotAlone posters advice and totally blocked this girl from my life. Problem is, I go to school with her, and that's absolute torture. What she was originally doing to me was destroying my life ...

She knew that I was still absolutely in love with her, so when she walked the halls and stuff, she would act as if nothing happened and she was the happiest girl in the world. Per advice from other people, I was told to act the exact same way ... and the good thing is .. it's been 1 week and it's no longer becoming an ACT! I'm actually starting not to care anymore, and I think it's getting to her head ...

Having no communication with her is doing a great job in helping me get over her, but please tell me if this is normal ...

Whenever I'm a bit tipsy and/or under the influence, I start to miss her immensely, and the only thing I want to do is pick up the phone and call her. But reality is , she F*CKED me over and she doesn't even deserve a smile at this point in time. What do i do?

At times I feel there is noone better, and that I can't be alone .. even though logically theres obviously someone better than her as she treated me so poorly.

Advice as to how I continue working towards getting over her, and moving on with my life would be greatly appreciated. This is the first time I've given in to a girl, and I'm not sure how to move on ...

Understanding that it's OVER has really helped me a lot ... and understanding that she ALREADY DID hook up with another guy and accepting all of that is helping a lot also. I just don't like the fact that my mind still battles thoughts like .. "Maybe because you love her so much you should go back with her .. " when deep down inside, that is NOT what I want .. even though it is .. but ahh! help me!

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The latest .... (this weekend)

Friday night I decide to go out and party with my friends. Get drunk, have fun. My friends tell me that they saw her at a Miami Heat game with 2 guys (destroyed my inside), but THIS TIME, I didn't let it ruin my life as I have decided it's time to move on ....

Saturday Night .. I went to a club ... partied .. and saw her at the end of the night at aroudn 4 a.m.

Being that I was drunk, I walked up to her and told her that I wanted to speak to her (as its been about a week and a half).

We started to walk, and talk. I eventually took her back to my house and we sat in my car until about 7 in the morning takling about things. She began to say that she misses me, was sorry, and all of this, and in my mind for the first time ever, i regarded all of it as being BULLSHIT.

Sunday morning she called me, and attempted to make things "the way they used to be". Got her hopes up, and thought deep down inside of her that I was going to take her back, just like all the other times. The thing is, ENotAlone has made me 1000 X's stronger than I've ever been before.

After telling me she misses me, she made a mistake, and all the other crap, I told her that it was time for both her and I to move on. Now is when the tables have turned and she is beginning to realize what she's lost. I told her that because I was with her for 4 months I would eventually be her friend, but that right now i was not in the position to do that and that she's going toh ave to give me my space before I can consider going into a friendship. I seriously think she's feeling the pain now.

Here's my problem:

This girl has hurt me more than anyone ever has in my entire life. Yet, i still loved her so much , thats' freaking weird. On top of that, she has the balls to tell me that she has no feelings for and "hates" the kid which she hooked up with ONE DAY AFTER BREAKING UP WITH ME, and people have come up to me and told me that they have been chilling, RECENTLY. shit, for all I know, they still hook up, and she's trying to play mind games with me that just aren't working anymore.

I'm trying to move on but a couple of factors are holding me back.

1. I have a problem going out with some HOT girls being that I'm a pretty damn good looking kid. (definetely not concedid), just being honest.

2. I keep that sexual attraction in my head, and my mind somehow converts that into actual feelings and bad thoughts.

Another problem of mine is that I constantly think of what I'm giogn to do if one of my close friends takes this opportunity to try and get into her pants. I know i should move on and not care anymore, but I have about 5,000 friends, and only consider 2 to be TRUE and never do this to me. I don't like to constantly worry about something like this, as I'm looking more than ever towards the future, as i WANT TO GET OVER HER.

I'm battling my feelings, while still trying to remain strong. I completely understand that she has done me dirty, and understand that I'm going to move on. (Do you know how hard it was to turn her begging self down on Sunday morning?)

I just need some advice on how to get the balls rolling in an even more positive direction. I have subconsciously been making her feel bad in school as she has done to me in the past. (AKA: hugging girls, being happy, etc... but the cool part is .. it's NOT AN ACT. My feelings for her are fading ... )

I'm looking for some advice, and direction to make my final move in not caring about what this girl does that will eventually hurt me in the future. I'm ready to move the hell on .. and find someone who can appreciate the amazing boyfriend that I am.

Please help,

- Michael

You're doing just fine there dont worry. the 2 factors that you said that are holding you back....those there are limits that you canbreak and get on path even faster. see if you see it like this if you have limitations, make those limitless. always taking weakness and making it so that you dont have one is best. you will pull through with out a doubt. just keep yourself busy and not to let her get back inside of you. take care.

Please, more advice.

- Mike