My Best Friend and my EX

I was going out with a girl for 6 months. It seemed like we were going great. I introduced her to my best friend, and we all got along good. All 3 of us would hangout all the time, it was awesome. About a 3 months ago my ex would start hugging on my best friend, which I really had no problem with. Later on she started having him over at his house, that made me wonder. I told her it was making me uncomfortable and she jumped on the defense....I began to suspect of cheating. We argued for about 2 months straight. Then the weekend we broke up, we were at my house. They were sitting on my computer, and he put his arm around her. I blew it off and went quiet for the rest of the evening. Then he started to rub on her and lay his head on her shoulder. I got him out side and WENT OFF. He went back inside and she started asking what was wrong. I took her out side and told her what was going on. She got mad and said I didnt trust her. The next day she left me. SO I sat my friend down and explained to him that she likes him, and if he did anything with her I would never talk to him or her again. The following friday I told him this, "I know I said I dont want you to choose sides, but since you seem to be talking to her more than me I am choosing for you, good bye, and by the way stop letting your di*k talk for you". So now I have lost my best friend and my gf. Now today my Ex is trying to turn all of my friends away from me and she is successfull at it every time, What do I do to stop her and get over this?????!!!!!

Casey Watson

Frankly, it sounds like you were the source of a lot of your own problems here. It does sound like you were justified in a little bit of distrust, certainly warranting a discussion of the issue at hand. But two months of arguing? In that time you could've been strengthening your relationship and neutralizing the issue in a constructive manner, rather than driving her away by being bitter about how she was acting. And the way you blew up at your friend was out of line, too. It was you who was letting Private Johnson do the thinking. First you give him a flat-out ultimatum, and then you say you didn't want him to choose sides? Sounds like the logic train missed a stop. With reasoning like that, it's you who's turning your friends away, not your ex.

You need to learn how to communicate in a non-threatening manner while still holding your ground and making a point for your case. Arguing is not an example of relationship-saving communication. It only builds frustration and ill will on both sides. Until you figure out how to talk things over in a constructive manner, love just isn't going to work for you.

Allow me to re-explain what happened here. I apologized to my friend for getting mad at him. What happened after she left me was she told some one she liked my best friend. my bestfriend naturally was lovestruck so he decided to go out with her, so I dont talk to him anymore. Can you blame me though? Thats something a true friend wouldnt do!! And my ex did this to spite me, she is using him just as she used me to get to other people the 1st time we went out.

i sympathize with your situation. While jujigatame may have some points as to what you could have done, the more pressing issue would remain as what you should do now. so what can you do? Your ex is turning your friends away from you. I think that if she even has the capacity to do that, that your friends may not be quite the caliber of friend you'd want. nevertheless, your interests are most likely in the nature to preserve these "friends" of yours. if that's the case, then the best you can do is to reconcile with your ex and your bad friend. It serves no one to harbor malicious feelings for anyone. Just let it go.