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Thread: still confused

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
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    still confused

    Hi, I'm been dating this girl for almost a year. when we first started dating I wasn't into her that much, I saw her as a friend. We ending up sleeping together--she thought I liked her as more than a friend and she thought I was just shy. Really, I was scared of intimacy because I was a virgin, but shy not really. We had sex and I told her we should just be friends. She got very emotional, and I got very confused (I thought she just wanted sex. I actually tried to avoid sex so much, but she thought I was shy and she just had to get me over that hump. really I just didn't want it. I was pressured into it, but I except responsibility for letting it happen). So I went against my gut and continued the relationship, even though I wasn't into her much. I was almost 23 when that happened. Up till then I had been attracted to many girls and talked to many but could never get intimate with one even though I had say 10 to 15 solid opportunities. Here's my problem. My gf is in love with me. We never argue and get along great. I am just very confused with my true feelings for her. I may just love her as a friend. Or maybe I'm just curious about all those women I passed up that I was attracted to and women that I see around that attract me. It's very hard to just break it off with my gf because she is awesome in many ways. But I get the feeling that I'm settling down with a friend. Maybe I'm just missing that storybook side to the relationship. You know, love at first site, puppy love at first, etc. I have had these feelings of doubts for a while, every since I found out she was in love with me. Now I don't know what to do. I don't think these doubts will ever go away. Any advice? Please?

  2. #2
    Silver Member Gilgamesh's Avatar
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    This is a tough question, because its almost like your asking what you will do not what you should do.

    If you only just see her as a friend be honest with her and tell her, shes probably in love with you, and just thinking you havent opened up because your shy, and not because you see her as just a friend.

    Be a friend and tell her the truth, tell her you want to remain good friends with her, this is gonna hurt her, but its better than breaking up with her later. do what you need to do, and overtime youll be able to see what yours and her true feelings are.


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