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Thread: True love in my eyes! and worth fighting to save? You judge.

  1. #1
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    True love in my eyes! and worth fighting to save? You judge.

    I know that this is going to seem like any other heartbreak story. And I dont claim to be special or beter than anyone else, heck I have been heartbroken before, but not like this. And so begins my story...

    The girl in question is what i believe to be the love of my life ( soul mate).
    This girl was the object of my thoughts years befoore we met. I used to see her out and every time i did my heart would skip. I wont bore you with the details however the best way I can describe it is like Ross and Rachel from friends or more so like Daphne and Niles from Frasier....but more so, that is TV and this is real. Isplit up with my girlfriend and about 7 months later we met. It was love frm the beginning fro both of us. weeks into our dating she invited me on a trip to the keys. We were learning to cook gourmet foods together. We did everything and it waws new and exciting. About 8 monthsinto the relationship she asked me to move in. She was telling her friends that she knew I was the one and hed never felt a deeper love. We go to NYC for New Years and my birthday. When we get back everything is wrong. She becomes a bit distant and talk of moving in together not a graat idea. A few days later she recants and everything is good for a while, valentines day is wonderful. Than all of a sudden she has done a complete 180 and says that ...well lets say that everything we built this relationship and she and I were sure about , now she was saying the opposite. But than everything would be good for a few days. Finally I had to confront her about what was going on. She admitted that her ex had been on her mind for a litle while now and even though he was abusive and bad for her ,she was confused why she felt this way and doubting our true love. So 3 days before I am set to move in she asks for space-which I grant. Two days later I move in temporarily until i can find a place of my own. Everythings great again! Than boom the same story. Her feelings for her ex resurface and I am in emotional hell. I was so conflicted on what to do but i felt i had no choice but to leave her. I cant live my life like a YO-YO. Her friends and family know as I do that she is making the biggest mistake of her life. What can I do or say to win her back. Was it a bad idea to leave to begin with? Is this fixble? I truly believe she is the love of my life. I know that I could move on but it cant get any more true that our relationship was before her ex poisoned her mind and my life.... The brutal truth please.

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    Member TearsofaDragon20's Avatar
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    that is quite difficult to say...

    it seems that she is trying to go on both sides of this. but whats the rule of thumb? you can only be on one side and no have both sides. if you think this is a relationship worth saving then go for it, even go all out. but keep in mind you need to consider what can happen if does not work out as you planned. make ure that you have defences on what your going to do. but be on the offensive and give her the feeling of what you feel inside. and let her know that she either wants you or she can have him. she cannot have both. and that you will not let your life be this way as for that it hurts you and that you cannot live life like that. Pain can kill but making sure that you can move on with life and showing that those scars will heal. i think thats all i can give you at this point message me back on what your thoughts are on what i advised. take care and good luck jon.

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    I am being realistic and I realize that this can backfire. I think if she is th elove of my life than I have no choice than to persue it to the finish, whatever the outcome. I know that I made a statement by leaving (yesterday) but if i go back too quickly than she might think I am spineless or wrapped around her finger. On the other hand if I wait any longer he might swoop in for the kill. I dont know if there is a right or wrong awnser here I just am so conflicted as to how to approqach this. I am completely head over heels for her still. Every other relationship I have had I have gotten over but this is such a different pain, a void so unbearable that ....I havent felt this way since my father died and that was well over 12 years ago. Is it a bad idea to "start the hunt"? I want to send roses to her every day, day after day, even if it takes months to get her. I will lay myself on the line wide open in front of the world and beg if i thought it would work. What can I do to get her feelings focused on me again? I did nothing wrong to begin with so it is that muc more unbearable to me. It seems so senseless. Start me a curse of action. Because my mind id made up...I have to go for it.

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    Member TearsofaDragon20's Avatar
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    I see what you are saying jon....

    I can see how you might be reluctant to make actions at this moment. you should act quick but not too quick. do the hunt by a skill of latter. set yourself to see and what you can do for this situation.when you have seen that you had taken care of one step move to the next step. but be careful not to go too fast or you might slip and hurt even more. but let her know you are there and hat you have faith and hope, and that you want her back. I know that the pain is so wrenching to the point that your body could just shut down and never power up to it's full status. but most people dont see that everyone has a fail safe system. to prevent yourself from going to that point. I remember in middle school and high school i was getting so heart broken i was trying to resort to suicide. But then i realized in my own head that " hey there are things in life we havent seen yet and maybe there is that girl who is waiting for me or that i need to find." But if she is a case where she cant get over her ex then you will have to make a fateful decison to let her go her way. even though it hurts so bad you cant do anything else. but this will be a time to re-evealuate yourself,and also to heal your scars jon. Plus at this point you will need to have time to yourself. Us guys may be tough but even a woman can make us weak and even weaker when they take our hearts from us. reply back jon and see what you may want to do.

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    well

    sadly nice guys finish last.

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    if she says that she wants space, is that really what she is looking for or is it a way out? I want to burst into her office and profess my love in front of everyone or is that a badf idea? I need somewhere to start?

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    Member TearsofaDragon20's Avatar
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    one step at a time jon.

    you and her need to sit down and talk. sort things out. dont do spurratic things that might damage things further. i dont know, it might do you some good after all but no one can be the judge of that. just take it one step at a time just talk let her go first and you listen and then put your imput on it. dont have any expectations because then you could get hurt even worse. just plan this out, talk, set up a time where you two can be alone to discuss things out. No one can judge fate, fate and you only can judge them selfs.

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    go for it ,although it might be painful experience

    Let me ask you this. Do you honestly do love her. In our lives, we all want to be with someone that makes us feel special and then later on you lost that feeling for that person. You believe that she is the love of your life and that truly love her then do it. I know that you in the process you might get hurt really bad. But if you don't try, you won't know. Ask yourself this is it worth? You can weight the good and bad for yourself because only you would know how you feel about her. In my situation, I have really mess up and that hurt her really bad because I was not being honest with her. I lost her trust. I truly believe in my heart that I want to be with her for the rest of my live. So I am going to go for it all and that I will show her my love with action and patience. I will give her space. I know is going to be hard, but who said love is going to be easy. I hope I gave some insight about ur problem.

    jl301

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    my friend

    hello my friend...i know how you feel..it is a very painfull situation when a girl tells you that shee needs time and space and you know that she has somebody else on her mind...my ex tolled me the same thing that she needs time and space and than i figured out that she is still in touch with that new guy....now i broke up because i couldn't handle it any more..the pain is to big not to trust her..to know when she is with you she thinks about him, too.....i don't know if she tryies to espace and tells you that she needs time and space...i think that they just think that whay they don't nkow what they want where they are how thay feel...if you go to fast back...if you open you sould and your heart totaly you might do a big mistage my friend....if a girl really loves you she will do that step 1 week...5weeks 2months after it ....really love is really strong...do not rush try to stay cool

    stillthere

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    well i have determined all i can do is write her an email which I did.if anyone is interested in the contents let me know and I will make them public for all. I just have to wait and see what happens.....it is out of my control.

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