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Thread: True love in my eyes! and worth fighting to save? You judge.

  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
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    8
    I've read your posts with interest. I was left by my girlfriend of 5 years late last year...I am convinced that we are meant to be together. However, I've realised that if this is the case, then we can't force it to happen - she has to realise in herself..and if she doesn't then it won't work.

    I am thereforeeeeeee giving her space and letting her contact me when she wants. There's no point in chasing a woman if she's made her mind up to do something else. Don't lose contact with her, but don't try to force her either. Love is something which you can't force...give her space, make sure she knows you are there if she wants you.

    There is no need to call/email her - if she wants to get in touch with you then she will...the best thing to do is to look as if you are walking away and getting on with life...that might sound odd, but it will make her think about what she has done. If you are permanently there for her, then there is no need for her to come back to you quickly. Make her realise what she is missing by being happy and getting on with your life - that will make you far more attractive than being miserable and chasing her will.

    Hope this doesn't sound like harsh advice, but it is really what I think..and what I'm doing myself to try to rescue my relationship...

  2. #12
    Member
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    Feb 2003
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    35
    Well guys so much has happened. Her boss who is a huge supportrt of me filled me in on the office gossip. It is good to know that there are people out there that care and can emathize. I realize now what I probable knew all along. I cant force the situation. If she loves me than she will realize what she has done and come back. If not than it was all an illusion. I am mostly upset with myself for getting into this situation. I never realized that females could be so manipulative and shallow. The reason for my change of heart: I did write her that letter and told her all I could so she could make a sound decision. Thats all I could do. She lives about a mile from me so this morning I drove by (against my better judgement) but I needed closure. My rationale was that if I see it with my own eyes than it will help me to let go. She wasn't there. This was at 7 this mornng. I knew that it was either that she went to her moms in Lauderdale or is with him. Well I couldnt go to lauderdale (other coast of Florida.) so I decided to find where he lives. I knew the community he lived in and took a stroll........Her car was there clear as day. Now gentlemen I only recommend this method of closure if you are strong enough for the reality that will consume you when you see something like this. It was devastating for about an hour. But now I strangely feel at peace a little. In other words I would rather feel like this than I would be otherwise if I didn't know the truth. My heart is still broken but at least I can move on from here. I am only sad that it is without her. Please give me your thoughts on this because this might me my biggest time of need. Thank you to everyone who supported.

  3. #13
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    Mar 2003
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    Wow....I think you were quite brave to do what you did.

    But remember that just because she is with him now, doesn't mean she won't come back to you. I know how easy it is to be devastated when you know they've found someone else, but that doesn't mean they don't still have feelings for you.

    It is good if you can get closure this way, but equally you should realise that after the initial infatuation passes you might just find her coming back to you...as long as you don't chase her away...

    Still, if you think you've got closure then that is great news!

    Good luck

  4. #14
    Member TearsofaDragon20's Avatar
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    Feb 2003
    Location
    Buffalo NY
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    The Truth can hurt sometimes...

    I am sorry to hear that you had to see that but also happy for you that you got to see with your own eyes that what's done is done. There's always a life past her and you are back on that trail where you find that one in a million. till then jon just keep your mind busy and dont dwell on it it's not a good thing to do. i just found out the truth why my ex girlfriend left me. i had to find the truth from her friends (that are friends of mine since i met them before i met her). now thats a bomb to be dropped on you when you find the actual truth from someone else rather than her. Im glad to of been a help and will always be here to help, as well as others on here. hang in there jon, you will find that special woman out there.

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  6. #15
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    Feb 2003
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    54

    yea my friend i know how you feel

    hello there...

    did you reasd dome of my stories...my ex was telling me she needs space and time but in fact she was with him, too....she was telling me how busy she is and how her school is killing her in fact she was talking to him on the phone more than to me...that's ok now there is no me anymore....but she called me last saturday around 3am, because she heeard my voice under her window (my friends live in the sam building that's why i was there with hem) probably she is having a hard time going over me...so you will see sooner or later if you don't contact her she is going to contact you but all i can tell you is be smart and don't let her get you so easy..

    take care

    stillthere

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