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Thread: How do can you put your 'past' behind you?

  1. #1
    Member Alien777's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    London England

    How do can you put your 'past' behind you?

    I would like to known how to put previous life experience's behind you. Let me cut a long story short. When I was 9 years old (yes 9) I developed a lump on my neck, went to the doctor, who referred me to a specialist. The next day I went for an operation and it was discovered that I had kidney and lymph gland cancer. I had a very slim chance of survival, something like 20%, but after 2 years of intense chemotherapy and treatment things looked better. Five years later I was declared 'cured' and now at 24 I am living a very healthy life...But even though physically I am well the fact that I had to deal with something like that at such a young age has left emotional and mental stigmas that has taken me many years to deal with. The thing is chemotherapy (which is used to treat cancer) causes hair loss and other many nasty side effects. Now when I was sick my 3 best friends who I really needed at that time simply rejected me and wanted nothing to do with me (I do not know the real reason but I believe it was because of my sickly appearance - hair loss, thin, pale, always nauseous, etc) The thing is kids can be more nasty than adults sometimes because they are immature and as a kid I did not have the maturaty to deal with that kind of rejection. So maybe in some way I blamed myself for what happened, which is totally wrong. But on a more positive note last year (14 years after the ordeal) was the first year that I actually felt I could deal with this issue and I started telling people what happened to me...which is a step in the right direction. However I still have a 'rejection' issue that I am only slowly starting to deal with now. How do I break free from my past? How can I realise that kids are kids and not everyone is that immature and when people reject me not to take it personally and for some reason blame myself? A friend said to me the other day that I had a terrible childhood from the ages of 9 to 13 because of what happened to me, but I believe that what happened, happened for a special reason and I might me better off for it. Now how can I put my past behind me? Any replies will be well appreciated...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Hey you don't seem to need any advice. Just re-read what you've written - especially the second half. You seem to know what the problem is and how to deal with it.

    All I can say is that everyone has his/her own experience. There is no such thing as a "bad" experience - everything is for good. So relax, enjoy life - don't try too hard to put the past behind you. Live in the present and the past will fade away on its own..

    Hope this helped.

  3. #3
    Member Lightingbird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002

    Dealing with the past

    The first step is to let the past sleep...

    That would be to leave it in the past.

    Easy right?

    Of course not... You need to sit down and write out all of your past experiences that happened to you. Reflect on them and think of how you felt. When you are finished:

    Stand up.
    Say to yourself, "I will not live in the past anymore".
    Ball up the paper that you wrote on and throw it away.
    And commit that you will never think of the negative past or reflect on them again for anything.

    This is just a small exercise that can help you develop some self discipline to leave this in your past. What happened to you as a child never can be changed. It will never have another ending or outcome. You were a child and nothing you can do or think will ever affect your young life.

    So take power of your life now. Accept what has happened to you, learn from it and never again let it plague you.

    It will always hurt you but you can control when.

    Good luck and don't give up.

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