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How do I find happiness from within myself?


Alien777

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Hello...there is something that I would really like to know. All too often we hear others (or ourselves) saying 'I will be happy when...' The question is we think we will only be happy when a certain thing happens to us, when we win the lottery (ever heard the song Mo money Mo problems), when we find our soulmate or whatever the reason. Now how do I find happiness within myself, right here right row without anything external happening - it must come from within? I know this must be very difficult to achieve but whether I am living in a beautiful mansion or in a tiny cottage I just want to be happy...Can anyone who has felt the same way before and somehow conquered it please give me some advise - I will really appreciate it

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Hey Alien777, I don't think I have much advice but I know what you mean. I used to think a girlfriend would make me happy, I was still just the same. I used to think more money would make me happy, not at all. Sometimes I take a vacation, it doesn't really help. People frequently ask me how come I was so happy at certain points in my life. I have no idea, I can remember the times I was happy though, what it felt like. I just have no idea how I got there or how to get back there. I know it's all a state of mind, how you take things, how you see things. It does help me to start each morning with a smile, and wonder what the day will bring. I have noticed though how much more people are drawn to you when you are truly happy. I feel you shouldn't have to force yourself to be happy, but I am starting to believe it's necessary when you are at a low in life. Sometimes It helps me to think I don't care what anyone else thinks of me, just to do my own thing. It's funny how we have to fight our own brains sometimes, but yeah it really is "just all in your head"

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Hi Zipitt,

 

Many of life's unhappiness stems from the ego and desire.

 

If we can be contented with what we have and not lust for more, the happier we'd be. Material wealth cannot bring us joy. Even these emotions we call love is transient and impermanent. The person whom you base on happiness upon is too, impermanent. We are all made up dependent factors, none of which is everlasting.

 

To strive for complete happiness, we need to practise more compassion and less self centeredness. Look into yourself to find this road. The middle path to spiritual freedom is not out of our reach.

 

That's my perception dude. Hope it has helped a little.

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Thanx for the insightful replies...Way too often people entrust their happiness in the hands of tangible material possesions or in the hands of others. I think an important point mentioned by Bleeder is spiritual happiness, because after all we are emotional, physical and spiritual human beings and if any one of those factors in neglected, the others are bound to suffer too. However how we define happiness does also count, is it ever attainable and realistic or is it happiness that can never be reached? I feel that is it important to be thankful for what we have - which is difficult in today's materialistic society and try to make up your own mind as regards happiness, not what society would like you to believe..

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  • 3 months later...

some people think that drinking or drugs will make them happy, it may for the momment but what happens after? you have the headacke and the hangover and you wonder what you are really living for. Where would I go if I died? There has to me more to life than this, living for myself, i am not happy, I need more things in my life to be happym If I has this I will be happy. Do you get that one thing and well your happy for a short time but that happyness dies off, so you want more stuff more and more. You are trying to fill a whole. The only way to truly fill that is the power of God.

 

the key to a happyness is allowing God to take all the crap out of your life, and he can truley make you happy, joyful. It has to do with yourself but by yourself you can't truly be completely happy. It takes the power of God. Some people are afraid of him or don't believe in something that we can't see, but the more you trust in him the more you will see your life change before your eyes, then you will feel his presense, and you will know that he is there, even though you can't see him you can see the effects he has on your life, your new joyful life! And this happyness is everlasting, he will truly give you the desires of your heart...try it you will see....

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  • 4 years later...

I think another big part of being happy is living in the present moment...if you think about it each moment on its own can be anything you want it to be...its when we obsess on our past and worry about our future that we are anxious and unhappy...Learning to be still and present in each moment is a good start. Meditation and focusing on opening the heart is a good way to get there. Someone just recently sent me the following quote...it resonates for me.

"We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday's burden over again today, and then add the burden of tomorrow before we are required to bear it"

Hope this helps. Try reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

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I think I posted my article on happiness here somewhere but let me summarize the key points to try to be helpful:

 

Do you feel shame about anything? Work on it.

Are you holding onto resentment. Try to let it go.

Find something to be passionate about.

Dream and plan for the future.

Practice staying in the moment.

Stay connected to the people that matter to you - and vice versa.

 

The move from external validation to internal validation can be a challenging process but is possible and has a huge pay off. Atleast you recognize where the work is...Good luck!

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  • 2 years later...

Everyone says to look inside yourself for happiness or find God and you will find happiness. I feel Emotions are sometimes one of those things that are not always controlled by what we do or say or try and convince ourselves to be true. Emotions are easily influenced by our environment. Even the Happiest people have moments that they may not share that they feel sad, upset, angry, or even depressed. Those moments can change in an instant. In my own experience I know i can be happy one moment and think I have things figured out and then i feel a rugs been ripped out from under me. I know I have two choices, I can feel sorry for myself or I can figure out what I need to do to change the situation. Feeling sorry for myself only pushes the people that love me or I care about away, or makes me feel worse. Why would I make that an option. Again feeling sorry for yourself is an emotion and we do these things without realizing. Sometimes It doesnt always seem so easy to just look inside yourself or sometimes thats just not enough. Then again I could be wrong but for me happiness has been more than looking inside yourself. Sometimes i feel happiness like everything takes work

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  • 3 months later...

Hello my friend. I used to have the same question as you do. I have been doing an experiment. And I Think I may be heading in the right direction. Since happiness is a state of mind, I figured thoughts had a lot to do with it. Therefore I set to find out what I was thinking most of the time. I took pen and paper and wrote down all random thoughts that usually crossed my mind. To my surprise, I came up with a list of 120 distinct thoughts. ALL of them negative. My experiment was to write in a piece of paper positive thoughts to replace the negative ones. I came up with 44 new positive thoughts to cancel the 120 negative thoughts. Once I identified my negative thoughts, I was in a position to constantly monitor my thinking to make sure I would stop thinking the negative thoughts. Then I would read aloud my positive new thoughts when I woke up, and before bedtime. This has been a very, very effective. I also wrote a description of the person I wish I could be. Same deal. I read aloud this description twice a day. I did it for one month. The difference in the way I felt was dramatic. It had a huge impact. I suggest you do the same. I also included God in my formula, and I prey every day before starting my day.

 

Thanx for the insightful replies...Way too often people entrust their happiness in the hands of tangible material possesions or in the hands of others. I think an important point mentioned by Bleeder is spiritual happiness, because after all we are emotional, physical and spiritual human beings and if any one of those factors in neglected, the others are bound to suffer too. However how we define happiness does also count, is it ever attainable and realistic or is it happiness that can never be reached? I feel that is it important to be thankful for what we have - which is difficult in today's materialistic society and try to make up your own mind as regards happiness, not what society would like you to believe..

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  • 6 months later...

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