Hate my Father in Law

I am so tired of my husband's jerk father. He treats my mother in law like a house maid, she is aging very quickly lately and he still finds time to go fishing every weekeend.

He keeps all his feelings to himself. When my son visits he either ignores my son or tries to control him with overwhelming rules.

My husband has changed careers, which his father protested, and we have been doing much better, but still there is that cold north shoulder of a man who parented him for 16 years and is now or maybe always has been a mystery. My husband looks up to him and tries to treat him like a loving father. Yet, he expects no consideration from him in return.

My father in law has worked in personel for hundreds of years. I guess he is successful. Is that what it takes to work in this society? You pour out all your emotions to your coworkers so that your family life suffers so much that people wish you were dead!

He also treats the son who is 28 and still lives at home much better than the rest of us.

Why does he act like this?

Have you talked to your husband about this? If not, you should. It's not going to change your father-in-law, but it may relieve a little tension in your marriage.

This sounds a bit like my mom's relationship with my dad's parents. She has never been completely excepted in their home. It has proved to be very hurtful to her during the 30 years they have been married, but at the same time, there's really nothing she can do about it. (not only that, at Christmas time she would give my cousins the most wonderful gifts, and my brother and I got pencils for school.) My dad knows her feelings, and all he can really do is stick up for her. That is why you should tell your husband. He needs to stand up for you, if necessary. You could talk to your father-in-law until you're blue in the face, but I honestly don't think it will do any good. Your husband, on the other hand, may do some good. At least get him to treat your son like a human.

Don't worry about the 28 year old son that he treats better. He probably feels like the guy is still dependant on him and in a sick little way that gives him satisfaction. It's your family unit you need to work on. Ok, I hope I've helped more than confused you. (?) Good luck!

I am not sure why but I think my husband still respects him as a person and is forgiving whereas for me, not his flesh and blood, he seems a lot more perverse.

I don't want to totally turn my husband against them because then he will be victimized by my dominance and I don't want to make anyone more uncomfortable than they already are.

I just don't like to see my husband kissing up to this guy who gives so little to the family. And I mean his family. His wife gives us present to make up for his lack of affection and maybe to make it look like everything is ok.

But on some level they are enabling him as if he were an alcoholic. She feels that she has to give us lots of presents since grandpa doesn't show emotion. But somehow all the candy and toys doesn't make up for the void in either of their lives. I know my mother in law would be more healthy if people just respected her, but they are so interested in making their father happy, they cannot see what he is doing to her. Totally ignoring her needs for attention, so what does that do to someone after 35 years, they look for the door.

So in some ways I can say that she should know better, or that she is letting him do this, but he seems to be doing it to everyone. They cannot even celebrate their anniversary openly as it falls too close to my husbands Birthday if you know what I mean.

So I have this inside me that says that he is jealous of us for always making the right desicions and moving forward whereas he is stuck in his endless highway of solitude. It really wouldn't surprise me if he enjoys working more than being with the family. To me it is very sad and unfortunate.

Hi sisterlynch, i hope you doin good.

My father is now 73 almost 74 he passed his life working ( im young 20 I cant understand how ur husband feel tho) and its like i never did something right, well its a feeling, cause deep in his heart he must regret his pass and what he did but since hes now too old to change he continues to be the old man without emotions and careing. I know he loves me I know he cares about me so I care about him.

Never wished bad things to others that is my advice, everyone has his own time. Your time will come, I promise.

take care

Jeff l. Spiegel

It good to hear how others feel about this. I think it comes down to one or two things ( I don't care for in people in general), and since this person is in a place or importance in our world, I want to make sure that his evil power doesn't take over for the other less outspoken members of the family circle.

This person who is the father of my husband, doesn't discuss or have emotions that others can see. Because of this the family is vary afraid of unbalancing him and upsetting him.

He is a dictator and an authoritarian and I am the only one who openly disagrees with him. He doesn't agree to disagree he agrees that he is always right, do you know anyone who is always right about every subject?

HAHAHAHA im laughin out loud at the moment you want to know a person who is always right ?? want to meet my dear 73 year old man???

kissies to you hah

peace to your husband and family as well

Jeff l. Spiegel

he had you when he was 53?

So what is the answer? Kick him when he isn't looking?

You are evil as well, some qualities your step-lovely-father gaves you? just kidding. Nah my old man is a nice man, he always complain, im doin all the works at home but he cooked and do the dishes and my washing as well so thats cool and ive been off for a month and a half so thats pretty cool actually lol. I can't kick him hes an handicapped.

miss one leg.

peace out miss lynch

Jeff l. Spiegel