this is so hard

First of all, this is nothing new. I had a boyfriend, he broke up with me. The only difference from any past experience I've had is that it usually takes me two, maybe three days to get over this sort of thing. So far it's been two weeks. I've cried myself to sleep every single night, I don't think I've slept an entire night yet. All I do at work is think about him.. why he would do such a thing right before Valentine's Day. I just don't understand what is happening. There was nothing wrong in our relationship. We never argued. We made each other laugh all the time. We gave each other advice. He was my friend. Then he hits me with "I don't know if I love you yet". Being that it has only been about 5 months, I wasn't surprised. I figured this was something that would grow out of our friendship. I expressed that. He sat there silently listening while I talked. His silence made me grasp at anything, just for a response. His mind was made up. There was nothing I could do. After about an hour... I kid you not... an HOUR of staring at each other and then at the floor, I asked him why. He looked at me and said he didn't know. I asked him if I did anything. He said no. He then went on and listed all the things he likes about me. He said there's nothing he doesn't like about me. Then he said that if he had to make the decision that night, he would choose to end the relationship. That was it. He gave me a big hug and left. I have never felt so helpless in my life. All this happened in a matter of a weekend. On friday, he was a tiny bit distant... but I figured it was in my head. Saturday, he called me like normal, but we both went out with our own friends. Ladies night-boys night. Sunday we went to eat, but I felt a strange tension. He didn't reach for my hand like he normally would have. Monday it was over. I don't know what to do. He called me a few days later to ask me if I was ok. We talked about general stuff for about a half hour, and that was the last I heard of him. What's worse is that I finally let him in my heart about a week before all this happened. I finally talked myself into putting all my trust in him. I finally admitted to myself that I love him. And now this. Why would somebody do that to someone they called their best friend? That's what hurts me most. I feel so betrayed! This sucks. I really want to contact him, but I feel like I shouldn't. Does anyone have any advice? I'm sorry this was so long.. I just needed to get all that out, I guess. Thanks for reading it. HELP!!

Wow, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I'm just as clueless as you are as to why he would break up (I think he was telling the truth when he said you didn't do anything).

That's what important. If you didn't do anything, then the problem is him. Some guys freak out if they start to have feelings for someone else, so they end the relationship. (the whole "I'll end it before you can hurt me").

But if you don't think he was falling in love and refusing to admit it...Sometimes, people just need space. I'm not saying that makes it okay, but atleast you could understand why. People, especially teenagers, are very protective of their time and, more importantly, their heart. Suddenly sharing both of these things w/ another person takes some adjustment--and it's an adjustment some people aren't willing to make.

I don't know if this helped any, but I hope you atleast realize that it obviously isn't your fault. So, just in case you're blaming yourself, don't. It'll still hurt, but time (and also chocolate ) heals all wounds.

I had a friend that went through the same problem that you have, except it had been a year and a half. For about the first month....maybe early second month things were in tension....although it may not feel like it..things will change. They have both gotton over each other, and are actually very good friends now. I guess what I am getting at is that in this case, communication is pretty important...tell him just how you feel...just like you told us...in the end..everything will be alright though

My daughters father and I got along extremly well, then one day he started acting distant and just all together funny. I was upset by his behavior then I find out he is cheating on me.......with a woman old enough to be his mother! I don't know if your boyfriend is cheating or not....the whole thing sounds strange. I just know when people start acting distant there is a reason and you may not like what it is. I know it is hard to move on......believe me I know....after I found out he was cheating I also found out I was pregnant! I had just turned 18 and never felt so alone in my life. He wanted nothing to do with me or the baby and never even saw my daughter until she was 7 ! I would just suggest moving on to better things.........there are SOOOOOOOO many men out there and you have one that will be perfect for you! I don't think this guy is it! Sorry for your pain but it does get easier........trust me! I am now married to the best guy and have a new baby boy.......so like my mom always said......when life gives you lemons make lemonade!

I think I got an idea why... The reverse happen to me I got dump the day before valentines day... It was harsh every bad thing that she could say she said. Really tore into me like I never existed. Forgot about the good things until I reminded her. Anyway I always been an open hearted person as I really believe in being in love with the person if the

relationship is worth having. But this was the last straw for me...

I just cant do that anymore...I waited for so long to find my soulmate and she dumped me...I become very concerned about letting a women into my heart because the pain if so bad I havent forgotten about it yet and I dont sleep too good now. So I definitely think that once someone realise that their feeling are in the hands of another then people are scare of letting themselves feel too much.

I'm very scared now because it hurt so much. I really dont want to go through this every again. This was the first time I ever felt like this, I alway believed in giving love a chance but now I not so sure.

I think thats what happen to him. He may have a trouble past. Valentines day should be banned! I know that I would be weary of falling for a girl in a big way now. Hope that helped. I never found any answers to these question. Sometime your lucky in love and other time not.

I am with Saber. When I was reading your account, and you said he broke up just before Valentines day, that made me think there is another person involved.

When he doesn't really have a sound reason for the break up, it is just an affair of the heart. He might have fallen for someone else, and you didn't have to do anything wrong. It just happens.

Sounds like he is trying to be gentle about the whole thing though, gotta give him that!

I hope it all works out for you.

AS