Prolonged "blues"

Hi.

have you ever felt you're empty inside, and that your life has no meaning at all? I used to feel this a couple of years ago, and this sensation made me to seek help. I took medicines and started therapy, and feel better now, but the bad feelings still hunt me from time to time.

I failed in many aspects of my life comparing to other people. I never had anyone who cared and desired me. I cannot learn anything new, I have difficulties in college. I am lonely.The person i am in love with doesn't really care. Altough I made some friends when I got better, I still feel alone, like there's no one who I can really relate to. I go out with them, possess some of the things I want out of life, but I'm never happy, there's always something missing.

Sometimes I just feel tired of life, and it scares me. It scares me the fact the my thoughts on ending all could come again, and that this time I could just do it. The fact that I study medicine gives me the power of knowing with certainty what could kill me, what I could take, and where to get it. I have some meds at home, and everytime I feel this way I'm scared by the fact that I could just freak out and take them all.

I don't know what to do.

Hi Waterlily,

I am sorry to hear that you are going a hard time right now. I can tell you that I have been pestered in school and outside all my childhood and teenage years. That was not fun at all and it broke down my self esteem and confidence.

I am 30 now and really, I am very happy. I made a 360 degree turn about 8 years ago. I threw my personality overboard and started building and creating a new one. The one that I really like at the moment.

I would like to ask you to hang in there and to stick to your study. Do what you can to become that wonderful doctor you want to become. I remember from earlier postings that you want to specialize yourself in a field that is very difficult. Focus on that, Waterlily... don't let anything stop you from that. I know you can do it and I wish you good luck in it!

~ SwingFox ~

I feel the way u do too, and very oftenly. I think it is the aftereffects of "burns out", i guess. I've no solution for this, really.

just try to remember death is no solution. resist the temptations. and with luck it will pass.

take care.

I am sad to hear that you are feeling this way. There is always a solution to any problem in life. Remember that.

Take time to focus on what you HAVE in life rather than what's not there. Be happy for what you have. Take a look at those who are without limbs, the blind, the deaf or the dumb. Aren't their lives even harder to pull through?

Build up on your courage and faith in yourself. Studying Buddhism has helped me alot in my perceptions about life (though I am a Catholic). Let yesterday be history and design tomorrow to be a treasure. We cannot progress in life by wallowing in our self pity. I have come down that road, so I understand yah?

Be strong!