Love and Deceit

I am a broken man. I have devoted my every breath for the past seven months to who I thought was a man, but I have recently discovered is in fact a woman. I have been madly in love with him and have planned my entire future with him. He is very much in love with me and is in so much pain, as am I. We have never met, this has been an online relationship from a distance. The pictures he sent me of his family and himself are all frauds. But he insists that who he is in fact the same person, same soul, same heart, and that is what matters in the end. I am so confused. I know that is what matters, I love his soul, I love his heart, I love who he is, not his past or his appearance. But my mind is plagued by thoughts of his deceit. He has kept this from me for this entire time, my love growing everyday for him, and now has decided to tell me his is in fact a woman who is in the process of becoming a man, through surgeries and the like. I am so lost. I am so lost. I know not whether I should stay with him or end it all.

Hi Zafarnama,

Thank you for posting to eNotalone.com and sharing your thoughts with us. I can fully understand your confusion and pain right now.

To answer your question, you have to find out wether this man is still loving you very much. If so, you have to see if you ever can trust him any longer. This will take time and a lot of patience, especially from his side, because of all the hurt and pain he has caused. What he has done is not entirely fair, but he could have done this, because he was very afraid of loosing you. Although I understand that you are confused very much, it's not like that he cheated on you.

If you are willing to try to work it out with him, because you feel that the bond is stronger than the body/appearance, ask him to help you with this. He needs to reassure you and you do need time to get over this. Because this is not about cheating, there's is chances that lots of love will heal trust again.

I wish you good luck!

~ SwingFox ~