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Thread: Is this pushing it, or playing my cards right?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    51

    Is this pushing it, or playing my cards right?

    First off, I've been posting here for about a month and this board truly is like my therapy its great. Reading others problems and trying to give advice, good stuff!! (Sisterlynch, Mermayd, Swing Fox and the other moderators ya'll are great!!)

    Now for my question, rather then reiterate or explain my entire situation again I'll give you the condensed version. Basically the greatest girl and I broke up sometime ago (year and a half) I've seen other people,she has also. We've kept in touch pretty good, the girl was my best friend along with my girlfriend. I'm cool with her fam and everything her Grandma sent me the nicest letter the other day. Anyway, we've haven't been talking as much at all we're both graduating, both busy etc. she's been dating someone else, and so have I nothing serious though. Anyway, she knows how I feel, that I care for her, and would like something in the future, I just would like to see the door left open because ya never know.

    I'd say December her calls to me and contact started to diminish which was weird b/c she was alwasy the one calling me. And when I would call she didn't want to talk that much either. I took it personal and didn't quite understand. I saw her over christmas break everything is cool now but I've been doing a great job of not talking to her. In fact, I think its actually irritating her a bit she keeps telling me I need to stop playing these games of not talking to her. I explain I'm just busy (which is true,to a certain extent.) Finally after her complaining I finally called and left a message. She wrote me an email saying she got my message and thanks for finally calling her. Anyway, she hasn't called back (like I care) she will though I know. She writes me another email saying how she's sorry she hadn't called me back yet but she will in a few days she's just been super busy.

    Here is the deal and where I need the advice. She has this interview in about a week. Here is what I want to do. I'm gonna call her the night before it and wish her luck, thats just a nice thing to do she is gonna be nervous and hopefully that will help her out. I also would like to make her a CD of some good songs that she can listen to on the plane and maybe before the interview to calm her down. We had talked on the computer about three weeks ago how music really helps both of us when were in a nervous situation. Considering we have been broken up for a while, and I dont want to push this whole thing about leaving the door open, am I taking it to far by doing these things?

    I would like us to be at a point where we can still hang out every so often but no be committed. She doesn't want a committment and I dont want a committment. The problem: She is a very independent girl and from day one when we broke up it was "we are never getting back together" not b/c she is a mean person but she claims she can't move on if she still thinks there is a chance for us. Fair enough I respect that.

    Sorry it ended up being longer that I had thought and the details may be a bit patchy b/c I tried to give the short version Anyway any advice. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    1,182

    One question ...

    Hey Neo,

    Thank you so much for your nice comments towards the forum. I can't speak for all of us moderators, but I seriously appreciate your comments towards us.

    As for giving you advice, I would like to present you a question: would you like the idea of loosing her without you trying all you did? I am not sure if you would forgive yourself not trying.

    I suggest that you try to talk to her again. I believe you suggest friendship here and you 'just want to hang out with her once a while'. I don't see any harm in that. Wether that is possible or not is in your heart. I don't think it's up to me to answer that question for you. I don't know you or the woman well enough.

    I hope this was of help for you and wish you good luck.

    ~ SwingFox ~


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