Jump to content

HELP!!! For those who are good at relationship problems ...


Recommended Posts

Well, Alan* and I have known eachother for like .... a year, right? And I had a boyfriend already though,Jacob*. But all the sudden I have been seeing Alan alot cause Jacob can't coem and see me and call me much cause hes moving to a different location. he has put me through alot, like running away, wanting to kill himself ...etc. But I stayed with him cause I really (quote me on this) "Loved him". I told Alan everything about our realationship problems and he gave me real good advice. Little did I know that Alan liked me too, and I was starting to like him and was losing interest in Jacob day by day, week by week.

 

Well finally I got tired of Jacob lying to me, so I broke up with him. It was the best feeling in the world, and then me and Alan started going out 2 days later. (The day me and Jacob broke up, I told Alan how I felt about him)

 

Things was going great! I would see him everyday, we would talk everynight online, what more could I ask for?? Well ... I found out a couple of days later that he was going to a different school. Well I kept on asking questions about it, asking Are you sure it will work out? How about those other girls who will try and take you away from me? Are oyu sure you could trust me? Am I sure I could trust you?? All he said, was don't worry about it, I will work out. So I didn't worry about it.

 

When I went on Vacation, Imissed him so much,that when I get there, I called him asap! When I called, he didn't seem very happy to hear from me. He seemed ... sad in some sort. Well They had internet there, and when I fount out, I was on like everyday at like every hour. When he was online, me and him would talk for like 30 minutes and then he would always have to go somewhere. He would start talking about other girls and everything, and naturally I got jelous.

 

Well when I got home, I didn't see him at all like we planed too. I was so mad/sad!! Well, he broke up with me a couple of days before October started! I was so sad ... he was in my mind 24/7 for 3 months. Ijust couldn't stop thinking about him. All the sudden he started talking to me again. Of course, I inivted him to my house for New Years, and WOW! He looked so fine that I started liking him again. He told me that he liked what he saw, and right then me and him got together again. From then on we knew (Or thought) it was true love. He said that we might have our ups and downs, but we was meant to be together.

 

A couple of weeks later he started telling me where to go and what time and that he had to go and who could and couldn't go! Well I didn't mind much ... till he said what I could and couldn't do!!! I got sooooooo mad that I just left. He said that I couldn't shop at the mall while he was there! I was like, excuse me? I'm a girl, I can do what ever I want when ever I want! Of course me and my friend from there on afterwards started to make fun of what he said (cause thats what we do when someone really gets us mad) and he just walks off, so we walk home ... an hour later (Apperently he was looking for us) he's online, all "sad".

 

I start yelling at him. I mean, no ones gonna tell me what I can and can't do. Of course I told my best guy friends (one of them is Alans best friend) about this. They both thought it was messed and it was. So I told him ... he had two weeks to make me like him again. Well me and this one guy names Chris* became really close all the sudden (Who is like my best guy friend) and I was starting to like him.

 

Two weeks later, I leave a message on yahoo saying that I need to talk to him about our relationship. So we talked... 10 minutes later he blocks me. He said that he could never think of me as a friend and only as his "soul mate" and it would hurt him to see me with another guy! So he blocks my mom and my best friends screen name!!! I go on my other sn that he doesn't know about, and I cuss him out and told him to unblock my best friend cause it was a lame excuse. (His excuse "You would remind me too much of Katie, so I can't talk to you") I mean, I could understand me and my mom, and her??? Thats just BS!!! Well a couple of weeks now, he has all the sudden came back into my life!

 

What should I do???

 

*= Not real name by the way!

Link to comment

I think that is is awful for him to order you and anyone else around. Everone has a free spirit and no one has that right to control others. I am really happy that you stood up for yourself. The big question is...do you still love him? Do you think that things would be good between the two of you? Has he gotten over his little "control phase" or are you afraid that he will try to do the same if you were to get back together? I may be mistaken, but it doesn't sound like you are really that interested in getting back with him. You just do not know how to handle this? ok, well, if you are interested in a relationship, I think you need him to verify that he will not treat you or others the way he was. And that if you are going to be in a relationship, you need to have complete trust in one another in order to make it work. This means no secrets and no hiding where he is or who he is with. That is completely uncalled for. I don't even think I would take a guy back after that. It gives me the impression he is cheating in one form or another.

If you are not interested in a relationship then you need to just completely discard him from your life. Don't answer his calls, dont call him. Dont email or IM eachother. He has been rather rude and there is no reason for you to have to put up with that. I think that if you were to go with Chad and he is Alan's friend, that may hurt their friendship terribly. You need to decide if you are willing to do this. I hope this is what you were looking for. if you have anymore questions, just ask.

Link to comment

I almost agree to all that has been said by Mermayd. In the first place, you NEVER control anyone else, so that covers that part. If a girl would do that to me, then there's even not a second chance anymore, because it looks like it's within the personality. From experience I can tell how hard it is to change a little detail in a person's life and I personally think that 'controlling' is a massive issue.

 

Your posting has a certain open end. "All of a sudden he is back in my life". I am very curious how he came back into your life in the first place. My suggestion is to have an open talk with him and ask him to be equally open. Throw everything onto the table and bring every single detail up. You may or may not work it out, but at least you will have closure if it wasn't meant to happen.

 

Just to give my last two cents worth: are you ready for another emotional breakdown 24/7 for a period of 3 months. In other words: "Think, before you act". Good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...