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Thread: TRUST?????

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2002


    i've never really been able to trust any of the boyfriends i have had. its been i huge problem, given that it ruins my relationship with that guy. but, i met this guy a few months ago, and he is probably the sweetest guy i have ever gone out with. i started to trust him, and i would let him go to the clubs with his friends without me. it never really bothered me because i had never saw him as a cheater. i knew that he loved me and that he would never hurt me in such a way. but yesterday we were talking and he told me that he had met this girl at the club 8 months ago, (before we met) and he had given her his number. he said she had called him a few days ago and left a message with his mom telling him that she would be in town and would give him a call to see if they could hang out. he said he told me that just in case a girl calls on his cell phone, i would know what was going on. at that moment, i realized that he could play me at any second, and i would never know. he could cheat on me at the club, and i would never know. i don't know why all of a sudden i started feeling like this. i'm so scared of getting hurt, and it makes me sick to know that in a way he controls my emotions with what he does. i don't like that. but if i don't trust him, then there really isn't any since in being with him, even though i care for him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. i don't know if i should tell him how i feel. i know it would hurt him if i told him that i didn't trust him, but he knows something is up with me. what should i do?

  2. #2
    Member GermanAngel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Cincinnati, OH
    I know exactly where you are coming from! I have never been able to trust a guy myself considering so many of my guy friends have chated on their girlfriends or done something they should not have. Or vice-versa my girl friends and sisters have had trouble with men. So it always made me a bit uneasy abuut a guy .. and trusting them. recently however, I have been with someone whom I have started to trust and the next thing I know I am finding out he is cheating on me. Can you believe it I finally find a guy I trust and he cheats on me. .

    I am not saying that what is going on with you is the same, but what I am trying to say is that maybe you want to take it consideration to speak to him. If he is worth it.. and he loves you then he will know where you are coming from and he won't freak out and get upset. Just make it a point that you kinda feel a bit insecure not that you don't trust him. Don't say that because then you will be asking for a fight. Just ask him about the girl in a nice manner don't nagg him and see what comes from that.

    I hoped I helped and didn't scare you with my story. I am sure it's nothing the same.. just ask him.. be cool about it.. and if he freaks out then you can rethink about your trust and all. And he could be playing you[/i]

  3. #3
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    He is not controlling your emotions at all. You're letting your emotions and your mind get the better of you. Do you have any reason to be so distrusting of your boyfriends? I could understand if someone really did something bad in the past. I really think you need to look into why you feel you can't trust your boyfriends before you start getting too serious. This guy told you about this girl because he didn't want you to freak. I would have done the same thing in the same situation. He respects you and obviously likes you enough to tell you about this. You can certainly tell him that you have had trust issues in the past and that you have a hard time trusting guys. Just don't make it look like he is the one that is doing something wrong. It sounds like you two could work really well together, but you must first sort out where this trust issue is coming from.

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