Having Trouble Getting Over My Ex

Hey all.

I was with my ex for 2 years before he told me in the middle of January that he wanted to break up. He told me it was because he needed to date other people before he could know if our relationship was good enough for forever. I figured out a week later that he was interested in a friend of mine. I told him I had to not speak to him for awhile, which worked for a few days until he called me and begged to go on vacation with me (we had plans for him to go with me and my family before we broke up, and when we broke up I told him he wasn't going). Trying to be nice and hoping we might be able to get back together, I said ok. We had a great time on vacation, but when we came back he started to see the new girl and said that he knew it was "time for a change". I was heartbroken and tried to convince myself that he was right and that there were enough things about him that I didn't like that would end up in a ruined marriage. I'm still devestated though because I'm still very much in love with him and feel like I'm being tossed aside for someone else who he knows can't possibly give him as much time and love as I did (since she's so busy with work and school). I don't want to hate him for it but I do because I feel like I wasn't doing something right since he latched on to a new girl. I feel like i wasn't enough for him.

Since then we've tried to talk and be friends, but it seems strained at times like he doesn't want to talk to me but does to appease me. And the few times we hang out he says are akward but I think are perfectly friendly. I really want to be friends with him since he has been my best friend for the past 2 years, but I don't know if I should stop talking to him for awhile. Every time the subject of the new girl comes up I get upset and angry. Every time I talk to him I can't help but think that there's some possibility of us getting back together. I think less of that now that I used to, but its still nagging me. And I have a hard time not thinking about him constantly and what he might be doing with the new girl.

I've tried to spend time with friends more but thats difficult because they can't hang out the same times as I as they have full time jobs and I'm still a student. I have trouble spending time with my family since they live an hour away. I haven't been sleeping well, but I still eat ok and exercise regularly.

I've only recently started to take interest in other guys, but am frustrated at how difficult it is to meet someone outside of your circle of friends (the circle of friends is out of the question). I want to meet someone new to take my mind off of my ex, but am not sure if thats the right thing to do. I haven't been single in several years for any period of time and though am somewhat looking forward to it, I'm also quite scared to be without a boyfriend.

I guess this message has been more a way to get things off my chest that all of my friends have already heard but I still need to tell someone anyway. Thanks for reading this!

You are going through a natural and healthy healing process. Everything you are going through is expected, especially after such a long relationship and because your heart was broken.

He probably finds your times spent together akward only because he knows what he did was wrong and he feels guilty.

I'm sure you are thinking of his new realtionship because you are afraid that he will try to recreate the moments you shared with his new girl. Which is natural as well, but you are on the right track. It is important to express your fellings as you have and you have tried to put yourself in a different state of mind by being with friends, I congratulate you for this. That is a big step in the right direction, one a lot of people are afraid to take. Just take each day as it comes and in time, your heart will be healed. If it makes you feel better, maybe you could even talk to him about why he chose to hurt you the way he did. Why he didn't give himself time...at least you'd have more of an understanding...

I hope this helped..