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Thread: Never-ending Heartbreak-Same Sex Relationship

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003

    Never-ending Heartbreak-Same Sex Relationship

    Is there anyone out there to give me some advise on the most tiring, wonderful relationship of my life! My ex gilfriend does not know the meaning of commitment. She leaves me at least twice a month and when I start to feel the least bit stronger, she comes back with promises to never leave again. This has totally confused me and has caused emotional as well as physical distress. Not to mention that most of her exits are during the holiday's! This is so frustrating as I love her with all of my soul. I have had many girlfriends but have NEVER felt a connection like this before. I can't sleep, eat and barely get any sleep. I am terribly sad yet angry at the same time. It feels like it will never get better and that a happy life is next to impossible Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    I think that you need to explain to your gf that if she continues to be so indecisive, she will end up losing you. Maybe something happened in her past that she is still affected by for her not to be able to commit. I would ask her what she thinks the problem is and offer to help her in any way that you can. But if you continue to keep taking her back and letting her do this to you, she will not stop and will continue to put you through torment...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    It sounds to me like she does not love you in the same capacity as you love her. This is hard to realize and accept in a relationship for a person in your position. By taking her back all the time (because you feel so strongly towards her) you are giving her the message that she can just step all over you like a doormat.

    There is also the reputation of gay/lesbian relationships being all about sex and thereforeeeeeee less committed, so maybe your girlfriend has that mentality as well while you are more of the commitment type.

    Have you tried to meet other people (or just hanging out with friends) whenver she leaves you? I know you say you love her like you've loved no other, but sometimes when we are caught in the middle of something we don't realize that a whole other world exists outside of it. When you love someone with all your heart, it is hard to imagine life without that person. But when the decision is final (ie. a final breakup or death) you will naturally move on to being independent again. It may take a lot of time to get over or be comfortable with the idea of being without that person, but you will learn to take care of yourself again some time. It is inevitable.

    Maybe what you have to do is to stop being so helpless whenever she is not around. She is still important to you, but if her leave is always causing you to become weak, maybe you need to realize that it is not healthy for you to relying on the relationship to make you whole.


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