I never thought this would happen to me.... HELP!

Hi guys, I really need your help. Last tuesday I broke up with my 2 year 2 months boyfriend. I've never been in a situation like this and don't have any idea about what I should do. This is the first person I have ever loved and every day I've woken up since the breakup things are getting harder for me. English is not my first language but I will try to explain the situation the best I can. I really didn't want to break up but apparently he thought there was no other choice. We had been having problems for the last 4 months and I had noticed a very big change in his behavior with me. When we met and until a month before our 2 year anniversary he was the most amazing person. We would see each other at least 2 hours a day and talk for hours in the phone at night and we would never get tired of this. He was always the first to want to spend time with me and was absolutely everything a girl could ask for: honest, funny, loyal, smart, ... I also know that he thought the same about me and we were both deeply in love with one another. About 9 months ago he proposed to me and I said yes, everything was so amazing. Then, around october I was having a lot of problems at home and told him I was feeling depressed and that I needed him to help me pull myself together and have fun. This was 2 days before his birthday. Well, he didn't even care. I started crying softly and he completely ignored me. We were in his house at the moment so I went to the bathroom for some paper to wipe the tears out. He was expecting some friends so these guys turned up and he went with them to play guitar in his bedroom and left me crying in there, didn't even go to look for me after an hour. Next day we got into a fight about it on the phone and needless to say we weren't together for his birthday. This was the first big fight we have had and we both misunderstood what the other was trying to say for the most horrible things. After that day, we both talked and apparently sorted things out. I thought everything had returned to normal and then in november I accidentally opened an email written by him to another girl saying how much he missed her and thought he was special. I was completely devastated, he swore he didn't want anything with her and that she was just a friend and I believed him. For the following months and until now I was feeling really sad and instead of helping me he would make me feel worse. He never kissed me anymore, didn't give me his hand, didn't even say hi to me. I thought this would pass but it did not. We broke up because he says he doesn`t want to hurt me anymore, but he still tells me that I own his heart and that he wants to return with me someday and marry me. I asked him that if this was only to make me feel better about it he should tell me the truth and he said that was the truth but I don't get it. You don't do these kinds of things to someone you love, much less to someone that "owns your heart". I feel guilty all day even though I know I shouldn't. I try to think I will find a better person than him but I still love him. I read that to get over someone you love it takes a week for every month you've been together. This would be 6 1/2 months for me! It's too much I don't want to be depressed that long. Has anyone been in this situation? Please, I need all the help I can get. Thank you, really.

Paola, 21, Mexico.

Hi Paola,

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. All I can do in this posting is to tell you that I do understand how you feel. Breaking up is very hard and yes, it hurts a lot, especially when you have been together for so long.

You're a little vague over the details as of why he ignored you at his b-day. Was he afraid that his friends were seeing him with a crying girlfriend? That wouldn't be fair at all. If you say you are a g/f or b/f, you go into a commitment. For me (I am a guy) that means that the girl comes first, no matter what! He should have been there for you, while you were feeling so bad.

I have one word of advice for you: feel your pain... it's okay to feel the pain and it's completely normal that you feel like that. It is okay to cry if you need to. It doesn't seem fair because you'd cry for him, but it does help you getting over him quicker. I can tell from experience.

Last but not least I am sending you my warmest regards with some hugs from The Netherlands, Europe ... it's a long end, but I hope they help. Good luck!

~ SwingFox ~