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Thread: PLEASE HELP!! Confused..

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    North Carolina, Durham
    Posts
    66

    PLEASE HELP!! Confused..

    I really don't know what to do. Last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I asked him if he loved me. He told me he couldn't answer that right now. He tells me he loves me all the time, so as you can figure something is not right. I asked him if I had done something wrong, and he told me it wasn't me. So of course I asked him what it was.. and he said he didn't know. After a long silence I asked him if there was someone else. Comes to find out hes still thinking about his ex. He told me he wants to be with me, and not her. But to me it seems like if she is keeping him from me, he obviously wants her somewhere.. I mean isn't that what you would think? About a month ago we were fighitng over the same thing.. whether or not he was still in love. He told me he needed time, and when he figured things out he would let me know. So about a week later, everything was fine or so I thought. He told me he did love her but it wasnt the way he loved me. He told me his love for me was alot stronger, unlike his love for his ex because their relationship didn't last. After the first time we argued about this I was okay because I thought that was the end of that, but obviously its not. I want to be with him more than anything, and I want to give him time to sort out his feelings. I'm just scared that everytime I forgive him, the same thing is going to happen over and over. It makes me so mad because about 2 months ago I was still wanting to be with my ex boyfriend, and he wanted me to move on, and look past him so I could love him with everything I had. And now hes doing this to me.. Its just kinda hipocritical. What should I do?

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    IRELAND
    Posts
    36

    Hmmmm

    It sounds like you are both confused.

    If you are not 100% sure whether to believe him that he doesnt want his ex then thats a good thing, but just be careful you dont end up getting a nasty shock.

    I dont think you do trust him 100% so theres reason for concern. If it is hurting and annoying you so much you must be completely honest with and tell him how much this is hurting you.

    If he still loves his ex, well then, the answer is simple, get the hell out of there. You will end up more hurt in the long run.

    Its difficult for me to offer good advice on this one because i dont know you'se and i dont see the whole picture but what i do see is an unhappy relationship so be careful with whatever decision you make.

    Tony, 27, Ireland.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    51
    So maybe he is being a hypocrit ohh well. Listen, he has some history with his ex as you do with yours. If he cares for you enough his ex will be a thing of the past. Just dont worry about this stuff, be you, be the girl he fell in love with. Don't let this stuff enter the conversations or enter your mind. It's all counterproductive in YOUR CURRENT relationship with him. I'm sure she'll always hold a place in his heart, as your ex will with you. Just focus on you two and dont' dwell on this stuff. The more time you guys concentrate on you two, the better for the relationship.

    The only other thing I would suggest is if he is the one that is continously bringing up his ex than you may want to give him some space and set him straight. A simple "I'm here, I'm the one that cares for you, I'm the one that loves you, and I'm the one that wants to be with you. IF that's not good enough for you I'll show myself the door." That will get him thinking real fast.

    I dont know though its definitely not un-common for your or him to by having thoughts about your ex's I know I did it when I got in back in a relationship after breaking up. But there definitely is a point where you can be obsessing over it a bit too much. You should know where he stands on this situation. Obsessing over it too much or just having a bit of worries so to speak over it (which is normal)....Good luck!


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