I cant say it!

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. We are living together adn will be going to school together soon. I have come to the realization that I have allowed myself to be the most vulnerable to him than I have let myself be to anyone. I love him deeply and he loves me the same. My problem is that I can easily see myself spending the rest of my life with him. I have said this to a few ppl before but wasn't sure about it. I wasn'tt being dishonest but in my heart I knew that I wouldn't actually be with that person forever. But I wanted to believe that I would so I was able to say "together forever". Now, I KNOW that in my heart of hearts, I do want to be with this man forever and I can actually see myself with him. But I cant seem to be able to tell him this. I feel like I will scre him away if I say "forever" or "eternity". The thing is, we both are aware that we could be "the one" for eachother but neither of us are able to actually say it in words. I know it seems weird. I have never been this scared or let myself be this vulnerable to a relationship. Could that be the reason why I can't say it? Can anyone shed light on this?

Even from my 3 year relationship, from a guy's perspective I can shed some light on the subject. That's cool you been with you're guy 9 months. If in your heart you truly love him, then spending the rest of your life with him is a great thing... The idea is to see what he thinks.

Some guys are scared of commitment. If he has lots of girlfriends or girl "friends", talking about commitment may drive him away. I felt the same way with my girlfriend. AFter a year I would ask her if she'd marry me, and she would always say yes. And we would get an apt together and live together and that made me happy. But sadly, nothing is set into stone as you saw with me. Things change...

See what he thinks about your future. Does he see you in his future? Talk about what you plan to do after school? Does his views coincide with yours? Does he love you with the same passion you do? IF he does, then it's a perfect time to mention it.

I was special to her and she was to me. If he feels the same way about you then he'll be happy to hear that. Trust me, if you love him and want to be with him. Tell him anyways, because if he acts different then you know that he may not be there forever.

IF you have something special, have a night together where you two pour your hearts out to each other about how you feel. It's much more romantic and can solve a lot of digressions and problems.... Trust me... If he loves you the same way, he'll be happy to know that you will be faithful to him.

Take care.

Mermayd,

Is it really necessary to put your feelings in words? If you feel uncomfortable over saying it and you are scared, then why not just postpone it for now? You can always use these words at your wedding night for example.

My suggestion is that you feel what you feel right now, which is DEEP and TENDER love for your b/f. You're not going out saying now: "Are you gonna marry me?". Why not? Because simply it's not the right timing for you. Just take things as they come. There's a time for everything.

Good luck ...

~ SwingFox ~

I say just relax and live out your love... For some reason bringing up the future kinda freaks guys out, even if they want the same as you.. i told my last girlfriend i wanted to marry her, and i meant it, but at the time... I dunno if I could do that right now tho... She actually asked me if i wanted to start a bank account with her (she's 17) that really freaked me out.. I don't know why.. But loko at us now, broken up and I'm getting hooked on this new girl.. But anyway.. like i said.. live your love out in the now.. worry about the future when it comes.