I'm at a real crossroads now. Do I get her back? HELP Please

Hey all,

I'm a bit new here. I've been browsing around posting to those I think I may be able to help out. Here is my deal. I'm 22 years old, college student, graduating in May. My ex-girlfriend and I were together from end of Highschool until the start of my Junior Year, so 2 years and a month or so. She broke up with me. Things weren't working, we were aruging, I figured we needed to do something, take a break or something, but she decided to break it off. We were arguing before she went overseas, she came back and about a month later we broke up. At first it sucked. I went back to school started hanging out with some new girls and was getting through it pretty good by all accounts. She would call me at night sometimes see how I was and vice versa. We never really had a point where we didn't talk at least once every week or two. Last Feb. I started getting invovled with someone fairly seriously but ended up breaking up in April. We talked a bit between that span but not a ton.

I still thought of her even when I was seeing other girls, for some reason I just figured she was the one and we "eventually" would coem back to each other. This summer I went to London for an internship and she was working in LA. We talked on the computer a lot and I really did a lot of soul searching. It's funny how being on the other side of the world, seeing new things, and people will really change your outlook on life. When we got back home I went back to school and she went to her school and I swear we talked from this Sept.-Nov. more than we ever have since we broke up.

I'm 22 now I look back and realize I am a man now and when we were together I treated her great but got angry about dumb things when I shouldn't of and what not. I'm more mature and changed and realize I lost not only my girlfriend but my best friend when we broke up. When we were talking all that time during that span she came up to visit me in Oct. it was great we got along (nothing intimate happened) I ended up asking her later on if we could possibly get back together and she flipped. She was like no way were not getting back together. I dont get it man. Since Nov. she definitely hasn't called as much but still emails me or IM"s me to see how i'm doing etc. She told me she started seeing someone in the beginning of Dec. she claims nothing serious. I figure that is the reason for the decrease in phone calls. Anyway, I want her back. I'm older now and realize she was it. I wish I could of had the 18-20 years single and got to be with her now when I am wiser etc. It just bugs me how she is so adamant saying " we're never getting back together" She is a strong willed girl and VERY STUBBORN. When I mentioned us getting back together she even admitted she is just set in her ways. When we broke up she was like we can't move on if were seeing each other and still dating etc. Which I agree with but I think her being so adamant on this just isn' fair. I dont want to necessarily get Right back together with her. Just talk a bit more and see each other a bit more an go from there. We both may be living in different cities next year since were both graduating in May so I think time may be running out. I dont know, I just want her to give us a second chance nothing big, just want her to have an open mind. I'm still sweet to her and can get her to smile. WE hung out just us two 3 times over Christmas break. I sent her this card yesterday wishing her luck on her interview she has soon. The only negagive thing is when we do talk and I push us she gets upset so I need to not do that as much. Another negative is about 2 months after we broke up I went to see her b/c our football teams were playing each other. I was a jerk that day and night and I think that was just more fuel to her fire in knowing she made the right decision in breaking up with me. I really am confused. Do I just keep thinking about her, doing nice things for her, and hope she comes around, or completely ignore her. (which will be hard b/c she will contact me. And if she doens't it will still be hard for me not to talk to her at all)

One more piece of useful info is this. I think she is the kind of girl that says stuff sometimes but doesn't always mean it. Hence the reason I'm not giving up even though she says were not getting back together. IN HighSchool the first time I asked her out she said no. Which came at a hugh surprise b/c I was gettin really good vibes. I kept workign on her hanging out and being sweet to her and eventually I got her. Also she is a Very Independent girl so I think that may be part of the problem. Last thing is this. If she ever has a big problem I'm the one she calls. Like over break she calls me up crying b/c here brother has this depression problem and she was really concerned. Her line after she called was I know I shouldn't be calling you b/c were broken but I had too or something to taht affect.

Sorry its so long guys but I need some massive help. I would of let her go a LONG TIME AGO if I just didn't still have this great feeling inside about her Thanks.

Give her time. You can talk to her as much now, just don't mention you guys for a little while. With girls like her, you have to show them that you changed. She seems to have her head on straight and doesn't want to jump back into anything that may not be good. Just be yourself, and if you really have changed, things will probably work out. Good luck.