Long distance problem, or other issues? caused break up.help

thanks

I assume that you want to know if long distance loves can be problems, as you wrote nothing in the entry. I am going by your subject.

Long distance relationships do not work, unless one person is going to move in the end. Trust me, I've been there.

They cause a lot of pain, and they are extremely hard to get over.

whitelilly wrote:

>Long distance relationships do not work, unless one person is going to move in the end. Trust me, I've been there.

They cause a lot of pain, and they are extremely hard to get over.

If the end goal is a permanent relationship (marriage) then whitelilly is correct. Unless one or both of you are willing to move then it is not going to work. This is one of the major reasons why my relationship failed, so I can say also that I've been there and done that.

Ditto for the second statement. This is the hardest breakup I've ever had to deal with, and I'm still trying to deal with it. It is much more difficult than any local relationship I've had, for a lot of reasons.

For one thing, the excitement of knowing and being close to someone in a totally different environment (in my case culture and country as well) was intoxicating and addicting. It gave me a total high to know that I was going out with someone from such an exotic place - in fact I remarked several times to her that it was like a fairytale and a dream. Well, the dream was a high like I'd never experienced but the fall was worse. Bottom line is you need a clear commitment from both sides (ACTION not just words) to make it happen, otherwise it won't work.

The insecurities are a big problem too. Wondering and worrying if the other person was cheating on you. At times it drove me mental. You have to be prepared to deal with this, and find ways to avoid it if you know this is going to be a problem.

The final thing I would say is have a timeline when you both will meet. It killed me when I found out my girlfriend wasn't going to visit me in my country when I had already travelled twice overseas to see her. Unless you both share the duties of the relationship it's quickly going to become one-sided and then it was exhaust you.

Long distance relationships can work - they're not impossible. But it takes a lot of planning, a huge amount of commitment, complete trust in one another and I would say you both should be friends first. Be aware too that if they go bad they can be extremely painful to get over. I'm going through it right now - it's not fun.