Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hi all.

 

I have a big problem I need to work on.

Any advice or thoughts you have on the subject will be greatly appreciated.

 

I am extremely jealous of my boyfriend's past relationships.

 

He has lots of experience - you name it, he's done it, with as many people as possible.

 

Also, he had an "arrangement" with an ex-girlfriend, after they had already broken up, where they would get together for sex whenever they could.

 

By the way, given how clingy this girl was and how badly she took it when they broke up, this shows very bad judgement on his part I think. No matter how horny you are, it is not a good idea to keep having sex with someone who is still in love with you. It doesn't seem fair to the girl, it probably confused her alot.

 

But back to my problem.

 

I can't stop thinking about his past.

I react emotionally as though he cheated on me even though he clearly did nothing wrong to me.

 

For example, I keep thinking now, in retrospect, about when we first met. We got together - I think we both suspected this may lead to something romantic - but nothing was clearly stated. Nothing romantic, we didn't even kiss.

A day after meeting with me like this, he went and slept with this ex girlfriend.

 

I KNOW he had no obligation to me at that time. So why do I always remember it and let it bother me?

 

Similarly, I find myself judging him harshly for sleeping around so much. I believe there is nothing morally wrong with that, as long as you don't lie to anyone, and sexual experimentation can be a wonderful thing.

 

So why am I so terribly jealous??

 

It must be me, my own insecurities. And THAT is what I need help with.

I have no idea how to become more secure, and stop thinking about my boyfriend's past.

 

He never lied or cheated, not to me, not to anyone as far as I know. All the poor guy ever did was sow his wild oats...

 

 

Please help!

Thanks

Link to comment

Hey there Chakka,

 

I have been reading your post. You have me beat with your message. I think the answer to your question is in your heart. I don't think that anyone will be able to give you advice in this.

 

I do have a suggestion for you. At times I am being jealous, too, because I am talking to a girl on long distance myself. I explained my worries and expressed my feelings to her over it. But instead of whining over it, I once a while ask her to reassure me. She is very funny over that, because she manages to make me feel good by telling me how she feels over me and why. May be you could ask your b/f to do the same thing for you. Just ask him downright: "Sweetie, reassure me and pamper me". If I'd be your bf, I would feel special, because you seem to need me then and would hug you to death. But ... that's silly me! *grins*

 

Anyways, good luck ... I hope this was of help to you

 

~ SwingFox ~

Link to comment

Thanks. I am sure my boyfriend will reassure me if I say what you suggest.

 

But I still have to find a way not to think these negative thoughts, because I think the amount of reassurance I seem to need is way more than normal.

 

Thanks for helping 8)

Link to comment

You really shouldn't be jealous of his past..

It's better if he's had many experiences before you. If he hasn't, when he's with you, he'll always wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and that leads to cheating or breaking up.

My ex bf, whom I still love, is much younger than me.. I'm 30 and he's only 24. We were together for 3 years and we talked about getting married and having kids. But he ended the relationship in December. He says it's because he wants to be alone for a while but I really think that it's because he hasn't been in many relationships or had many experiences with other women.. Until you have lots of experiences, you always think, "Is there something better out there?" So, you really shouldn't get jealous. Whatever happened in the past is in the past, so leave it there! It's not worth destroying a good relationship over!

Link to comment

I went through the same thing as you are now when I was with my ex-finacee. (we only broke up a couple of weeks ago)

I was very jealous of his past. He had children from a previous relationship and had been in quite a number of relationships. We had a loving and trusting relationship but at times I would actually get angry with him when I thought about his life before he met me. I find it hard to understand, but I think I know where you are coming from. He had no obligation to me before he met me, for heavens sake, we didnt even know each other, but it still got to me. There were many arguments about this, and he had to tell me so many times that what happened in the past remains in the past, but I found this hard to accept. The fact that he still kept in contact with the mother of his children drove me crazy (how selfish was that - he had to see his children)

Anyway, it got to the stage where we couldn't even discuss each other's lives before we met.

All I can say from my experience looking back is that I spent too much time dwelling on his past and didnt spend enough time concentrating on our future.

Accept the fact that he is with you now and that he doesnt judge you on your past. Be happy that it is you he is with now and try to forget things that happened before you came into his life. I wish I had done that then!

Good luck.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Hi.have u read my post cos i just wanted to let u know i feel exactly the same way,you're not alone.I agree with the idea that you should talk to him about it,but do it in a way where you're asking for reassurance and telling him how you feel,not picking on him for it. I feel like my guy cheated on me although he's the most honest guy you could ever meet, just because he has a past.And no amount of advice telling me to forget about it makes a difference,I know rationally the past doesn't matter but it's hard. Did u have a proper childhood cos mine was pretty messed up and I think there's something in it that has caused these feelings.After 2 yrs,they haven't got any better, so if you feel the same,I'd suggest proper counselling,cos no amount of self-help can really work (trust me-I've tried).I just booked my first session...good luck

Link to comment

I feel the same way you do about my boyfriend's past. And the problem is not just because he's had a past but the cicumstances of that past. (ie. when he slept with his ex the day after he was out with you.) That's the thing that you can't totally get over. It does feel like betrayal to some degree, as if you sense him having feelings for you, but then why would he go back to doing something intimate with someone else even if the two of you weren't involved yet.

 

I think for me, the thing that will assure me that he loves me completely now and that he values me over and above anyone else in his past is just asking him about how he feels. I ask him how he feels now (with me) in comparison to how he felt before (with others). And I usually am assured that he loves me more than anyone else he's loved because he tells me it's just not the same when he's with me. He remembers his past, but it is not something that he wishes to be his present.

 

I know it's hard to deal with another person's past, especially since you can't really understand it as they do and will always be paranoid that they loved the other person more or that they had better times with the other person or the other person was sexier or better than you.

 

The only thing you can do is be sure that they love you the way you want to be loved and the relationship is how you want it to be. That's the only way you can judge if your partner is really in love with you and has put the past behind them. And if they have, you should be able to put it behind you too.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

I can totally relate to this situation. When I first met my BF we were "just friends" so we probably discussed his sexual past a bit too much for my taste - after I started falling for him this information REALLY started to bother me. I have done all kinds of stupid things - from spying, snooping around his apartment, reading his phone bills, checking up on him, trying to spy in his journal, wondering if he was a good guy or not, if he was still in contact with his exes, if he had pictures, etc...

 

It got to the point where I would not even travel through places where I knew some of his exes lived or live (makes it tough as many of his exes are in his home town). I started second and third guessing who in his life introduced him to his exes, who knows his ex lovers, where he had sex, what he thinks when he's having sex with me, what were their names, what they looked like naked, were they beautiful, if he compares me with someone else, what others know about his sexual past, does he engage in "locker room" talk with the guys, etc. I even get the creeps going to his childhood home (we live in another city have left home some time ago) knowing that he probably slept with another woman in that house or even in the guest bed in which I was sleeping.. (but then again i have done the same thing with other guys in my own childhood home so who am I to complain??).

 

What bothered me the most was the difference in "numbers" I have had 4 other sexual partners besides him, and he has had at least 9, possibly more. Those dont sound like huge numbers, but I was kinda hoping that we'd roughtly have about the same. Looking at the fact that he has TWICE as many ex lovers, and his past includes one night stands, sex on the first date, lots of anal sex, a 'sex-friend', etc. makes me feel REALLY insecure (my experiences were standard, boyfriend-girlfriend-i-think-i-could-marry-you-lets-go-meet-my-parents kind of things). So, naturally I thought that he was much more "worldly" and how uncool he must think I am.. and that I thereforeeeeeee was uncool, etc. etc. It was a bad bad train of thought. Also - when we first met I was 30 and starting to "ponder" the possibility of a sex friend, or a threesome, etc. and I didn't do it (The fear of STD's has really limited my sexual exploration! I read an article that women are 27 times more likely to contract a sexual disease than men.. and that swore me off experimentation!!)

 

I noticed my jealousy flared up more when I was feeling insecure about myself and the relationship. We had a rough phase almost from the 4th month together until about Christmas 2002. I'll get into the reasons for that later on...

 

What might be interesting to look at is BOTH your past and his past - not just the relationship/sexual past but put it into context. Why did your BF have so much experience? What drove him to do it? Was he a product of a broken home and wanted "female" comfort? Sometimes guys can't tell the difference betweeen needing a shoulder to cry on and finding someone to have sex with. Honestly. Sometimes they are THAT clueless! No matter how nice your BF is, and how much you love him, he still has a male brain!!

 

Did your bf have a bad relationship with his mother or other females? Did he feel insecure and need to "prove his manliness"? Worst of all - was he sexually abused and totally lost the ability to keep his sexual urges in check?

 

As far as my BF - he was both sexually abused AND had a poor relationship with his mother. ALL of his sexual encounters before me were NOT about sex or love - they were all about proving he wasn't gay (he was abused by a man in a positon of authority), proving he was loveable (he engaged in one night stands or very kinky/unsafe rebound relationship fter he was dumped within the first few years after hew was abused). He was mostly trying to prove his worthiness with his mother ("If someone has sex with me then I must be loveable to women") and that he wasn't gay ("this man abused me so I must be gay") and he was reacting to it. Because of my bf's background he was also an alcoholic/drug addict - I dont doubt that some of his encounters happened while drunk or stoned. Getting over the last remnants of this, and taking his abuser to court has been causing the major relationship problems we've been having.. but I digress... anyhow I cannot blame him for this. After unearthing all this difficult information, I realized that he needs my love and support more than my criticism!!!

 

Your BF may not admit it, but I would bet that a LOT of his encounters were done out of neediness, loneliness or insecurity, and to me, that says a lot about his motivation. I personally dont know too many well-adjusted, happy or mature people who still really want to continue to do one night stands and other stupid sex stuff.

 

If he is with you out of LOVE it is very possible to do the same thing with another person but have it mean totally different things!! I never believed it, but my BF swears its true.

 

In comparison, my sexual choices were made a bit more wisely - never on the first date, with someone i could trust, someone I'd known awhile, etc. Face it - as women we just have more at risk (we could be raped, get a disease, get pregnant).

 

My own personal upbringing (alcoholic father, emotional abuse, father was very belittling) makes me look at the sexual "differences" between my BF's and my pasts as a way to keep "putting myself down". I realized that this obession really had its roots in me feeling that there is no way my BF could really love me and that sooner or later he'd leave me or go back to his one night stand ways. (his last one nigher was when he was 19 and he's 34 now.. so what am I complaining about?? but you can see how bizarre this obsession is in me as well!!) I have also had a few bf's leave me for a new sexual partner - and that also has chipped away at my relationship security. I have also had people leave me who I never thought would leave me - and that makes me insecure about EVERYTHING in relationships! The older you get the more baggage you get (I'm 33)!

 

However, the bf's who did leave had very little to no other sexual experience. Does that mean anything? I dont know. I do know for sure though that my BF, no matter how bad things get, never ever wants another one night stand. He hated himself for a long time after he did them. He also said to me "anyone who says that they like sleeping around is lying his face off. Its a pathetic guy-lie and dont buy it!"

 

In any case, try to logically think about his life in some way. Try to tie his sexual actions in with what his life was at the time. Probably he had some serious insecurities at the time. Maybe he went back with an ex because he has some problems about being alone. Explore these with him. Hopefully he'll be honest and if he does have some insecurities still to deal with, he'll be interested in workign on them now that he has met you?

 

Despite my BF's past, what makes me assured about our future is three things: 1. BF has NEVER cheated on any of his long time girlfriends (he has had about 4). He has also assured me that "sampling" is not something he was ever interested in, and that his behaviour was done out of sheer neediness and desperation and that he hated himself for it. and 3) since 1993, my BF has had only 2 sexual partners, both relationships lasted little more than a few months. He had not been with anyone since 1998 when we met in 2001. He even had a four year celibacy after his first seven or so experiences which came one after another (he swore off sex and women because he was so hurting...)

 

All I know now is that my BF has been really honest about his experiences, he admits that he has had too many partners for his own taste, that his actions were driven by abuse, self esteem, alcoholism, desperation, and that I should pity him and not feel intimidated by his past. He was a different person then, driven by pain, and not by love.

 

Over a year has passed since we had our little "talk" about his past, and I have to admit that time does a lot to reduce the pain you are feeling. After several months to a year together if your BF is faithful and honest and reassuring, and the relationship is healthy, you may stop feeling as bad about his past (I am starting to feel that way).

 

If your interest and bad feelings about the past continue to bother you, treat it as I do - as a signal that all is not well in either your own life or the relationship and that something needs attending to. Then spend the time to figure out what is the problem, and try to fix it (this has gotten me to lose some weight, spruce up my appearance, get a new job and a whopping raise, and work on some major stumbling blocks in our relationship!!! Yay for me!).

 

I know that other insecurities I have had have manifested themselves into outrageous jealousy about my bf's past, so sometimes the problem was not even about him, but it was all about me!!!

 

Good luck - if you want to talk more on this write back or private message. This has been the most MAJOR issue I've dealt with over the past year and has caused me a lot of pain and lost sleep. Please write if you want to. I totally relate with your situation.

 

Trishie

  • Like 2
Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Hey Chakka...

I know what you're talking about. My exboyfriend had quite the past too and I was jealous of it! It was the weirdest thing. I think that it just made me edgy because I felt like since he had done so many things with so many people that maybe I wasn't too special to him... but after a while I realized that what's in the past is in the past. It's hard to give advice to you, because everyone feels differently....anyway, thought i'd let you know you're not alone.

Link to comment
  • 3 years later...

I have been struggling with this myself. I try to rationalize, pray, forget about it ... nothing really works. Bummer when people indicate it's about me ... like self esteem or something. I seem to want a fix outside of myself; like if she could undo everything she did, or prove something to me. Like I'm waiting for the secret words.

 

Whatever truths I can muster from this whole thing--like, I must accept reality; I must forgive her and love her for everything she is, etc.--I still fall into mental pits where I just obsess about her past sex life. It totally sucks. It's like the worst thing in my life right now.

 

I don't know if this helps, just to know someone else feels the way as you. I guess it helps me to read your story.

 

There's a hole inside me that only God can fill. I believe this trial is a way of learning. I am looking for my fiancé to fill a void; but she does not have that ability. I am longing for peace and looking in the wrong place; I keep doing this out of my own will; I have to stop demanding that she be something she can not be.

 

I learned: One way to cut the umbilical chord is through sexual abstinence. Clearly sex has a command over me or I wouldn't be obsessing with my girlfriend's past. Nor would I need sex if it didn't control me. My own promiscuity before marriage indicates I am longing for something. Must I fall to the desires of a fleeting moment?

 

A selfish way of looking at this is, abstinence seizes control. In reality, it's just putting control back where it belongs. It's one way to right the past.

 

If you and your boyfriend had abstained before, you wouldn't have this problem. Demand that you abstain now. You will both appreciate your relationship.

 

Best to you ...

Link to comment
  • 2 years later...

I have the most amazing special boyfriend in the world yet it is as if i am intent on pulling us apart. We have been together consistently for two years and our relationship is very open and honest with so much love and respect there. Only a month ago we made the heartbreaking decision for me to have an abortion after falling pregnant unexpectedly. I am 20 but that was not the issue. My boyfriend and i are both students and have no income and do not live together, and wanted to bring a child up in a family home with security. If it was in two years when i finish uni i would have kept it and the decision was not easy. Fortunately i found out incredibly early, i was just under 5 weeks. He was my rock through it all but ever since i have been very emotional over the smallest things and being a really horrible girlfriend at the moment.

I am quite insecure and always feel i am not good enough for him because he is very good looking and is popular with a lot of people. Even though he is always telling me how much he loves me and cares for me i still seem to moan about people in his past and wanting to see his mates over me. He is a very tolerant person and is patient with me when i have all these emotional outbursts but it is not doing our relationship any good at all. We are so close but i keep opening my mouth about stuff that isnt important (ex girlfriends and other girls in general saying they are all better than me). I know he is starting to get fed up with it but i dont know how to stop. I could lose him eventually yet i still have to open my mouth when i should just say nothing. It doesnt help that i have never been in a relationship before so everything i am feeling is feelings i have never had to deal with. He is two years older and has slept with 3 girls which is very respectable for a hot guy but i bring this up sometimes and shouldnt because i am hurting myself more than i need to. Please help!

Link to comment

Baby20:

 

As for jealousy of past sexual partners, that comes with the territory. Sex outside of marriage should make you feel insecure. You don't have the security of marriage but you're trying to have the intimacy that comes with it. Honestly, any boyfriend can move on at any time. Your insecurity is real in that sense.

 

If he's so 'amazing special' then he will love you as you are. It sounds like you are being difficult on yourself. Love yourself and realize you are 'amazing special.' No one is above you except God. If you had a marital commitment it would be a different story but keep your boyfriend in context. Work on loving yourself first and not placing so much of your self esteem on him.

Link to comment

Hey All:

 

I'm going through something very similar. I've been dating my bf for 2 years now. We both have been married and divorced but since his divorce he's been engaged. At the last minute they broke it off. That's been 4 years ago. Anyway his ex-wife and his girlfriend look kind of the same. Tall, slim with dark hair and I'm well let's say shorter, blonde and about 20 lbs over weight. So I've asked him why he dates me when I don't meet his specs...that's my insecurities...and he always says because I'm fun to be around. That doesn't help me feel very warm and fuzzy. So his ex-fiance lives in England and him and his 2 daughters are there visiting his best friend...the ex and the best friend don't know each other...and of course he and his kids are going to go visit her. Well even though she's remarried I needed some reassurance from him that everything is going to be ok between us even after he sees her. He doesn't believe in validation but I needed something from him. Well the last 2 weeks before he left I was really on edge because I wasn't getting what I wanted from him so for the first time in our relationship we were kind of hateful to each other. I know I shouldn't be jealous but my marriage of 20 years ended because of another women, among other things and I know that's not my bf's fault but it takes a long time to get over rejection.

 

I hate feeling jealous and insecure and it makes me mad that I allowed myself to let all this get to me and reacted the way I did. Bottom line our communication sucks and I'm not sure how to approach him with this. What makes me feel even worse is when I asked him if I was going to hear from him while he was gone all he could say was "well maybe by email or some s__t." So basically he doesn't want any communication with me while he's gone. That's how I took that response.

 

Another issue that could relate to jealousy is we were out with friends and he started talking to 2 girls and not really having much to do with me so I went over to him and asked him something and then I asked if he knew these girls and he said he met one of them once and didn't know the other one. Well I thought he was being rude by talking to these girls...I overheard the conversation he was telling them his life story...and ignoring me. I left with one of my friends and later he told me that after I left they stopped talking to him all together. Normally I wouldn't be bothered by that but I was just feeling insecure about his trip and the fact that he didn't reassure me or anything. Was I wrong to feel this way?

 

I hate that he's gone and I can't talk to him about any of this. So I'm thinking that maybe it's a good thing to give him his space. I hope I just didn't blow it but if I know if I did what's done is done and I can't take it back.

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...

Hi everyone, I'm new and have registered to here only because of this thread, or this particular problem.

 

To the thread starter: a lot of women in a relationship have this problem. For me it's like a female thing where the physical body has something to do with. So obviously along with the other replies here, you're not alone.

 

So my bf is turning 43 and I'm turning 19 this year. We've been together for pretty much a year and a half now. I know it sounds unbelieveable but yeah we're pretty serious, gone through a lot of future talks, met the parents of both sides since last year... If someone needs some inspiring stories about huge age-gap relationship, talk to me and I'm sure you won't be disappointed.

 

He is sorta my first proper bf, I'd experienced being with someone else before but it was a long-distance relationship which lasted after 13 months and a week when I was still living in Vietnam. I first met him through a family at their place in which I was staying for 6 months when I first came to Sydney at the age of 17. He's been sorta their best friend for longer than I've existed.

 

In an attempt of talking me into breaking up with him when we've just started developing our feelings, the wife of this family showed me tons of pictures of their past holidays together from the 80s and his ex-gfs. I didn't think we would have any future so those pictures made me laugh and gave me some fun. On the next times meeting him I continued asking about his past out of curiosity. He didn't hide anything and I just listened and sometimes I 'd judge him for being such a playboy, thinking I would gain some ""experiences from him.

 

But it got serious as our feelings got stronger. For 6-7 times I decided to break it off because of the fear that he would ultimately hurt me in the future. Anyways after 6-7 break-ups we got serious. I got to know him much better and decided to give it a shot, even though it's equal to a big risk to my young life and soul.

 

It turned out that he had many bad lucks in the past, mostly in his love life. He didn't give up, even tried travelling overseas to meet girls and blah but finally ended up having been in love only twice, besides those million relationships. However he's pretty happy being single because of his awesome jobs (he's a musician, sorta music producer and guitarist). After turning 40 he decided to have fun by travelling to the Philippines again and ended up shagging a number of chicks over there.

 

Anyways sorry I'm being lengthy.

 

I also got to know that his previous girlfriends were really bad. One day I accidentally found out the old pictures on his old laptop. They are not the ordinary pictures where people just hold hands... There were even pornography. I got shocked and cried a lot before knocking on his studio door telling him about that. But as I was waiting to calm myself down before talking to him, I was able to sit down and listen to the whole stories behind them. He didn't hide anything, nor was he afraid of me finding out about them.

 

Said:

 

- Yeah I've got a big history, because I'm not a priest. And for Christ's sake I'm 42!

- Those belong to the past. I don't really care about them anymore, but there is no reason to delete them as they are part of my life, I wanna keep them because they are like souvenirs. No matter how ugly they are, I have no reason to hate myself or feel bad about them.

- Focus on the present and future. I love you and it's pretty obvious that I'm not cheating on you. You see me pretty much everyday. And no for your infomation, I didn't even cheat on anyone else in the past either. Some cheated on me but I didn't.

 

I've been reassured for many times as so far I've got a great relationship with his parents and friends and co-workers. Also I've been the first to be considered another member of his small family. And we're pretty much living together even though I've stil got my own place for studying and my stuff. Also for my extreme skeptical self, he's appeared to be quite perfect and clear. I trust my senses.

 

However sometimes it is like a needle piercing my brain whenever I think about how he did stuff with other women like making love, cooking for them... Sometimes it makes me angry but after a while I would be able to calm myself down.

Link to comment

I kind of feel like this too. There's a room in his house I won't go in anymore because I found out it's where he lost his virginity to his ex. Luckily, it's not his bedroom, it was a room he was temporarily sleeping in because there was more space. The place I lost my virginity to my ex in is a hotel room so I never see that place again. I occasionally get horrible creeping feelings when at his place of "this bed I am sleeping in, she's slept here too..."

 

It's one thing I look forward to about him moving out this year the place will be completley 100% ex girlfriend free right down to new furniture! (this is his first apartment he's getting).

 

I'm not proud but I also did some online snooping, it was kind of self torture, I used to look at her pictures and imagine her with my boyfriend. I once (accidently this time though) found an abandoned blog which was in her language so I couldn't understand it, except for my boyfriend's name with hearts next to it and romantic icons. That made me cry. When he found out about it he actually messaged his ex and asked her to take it down, which surprised me, but it's sweet.

 

It's horrible, I even get the creeping feeling when he talks about things unrelated to her that happened during the time he was with her. Like his holiday to Thailand, he didn't even speak to her while out there as he couldn't afford the bill, but I look at his holiday pictures and think "was he thinking of her when this was taken? Was he missing her?". It's hard when his parents tell me stories from that time, I mean there's one that's a funny story but it still stings because it took place when they picked him up from the airport after he was visiting her. They don't really know how I feel about his ex and I don't plan on ever telling them. I am just glad they never really knew her well, and know me a lot better.

 

But the creeping feelings have gotten a lot more controled, and my boyfriend knows of my problems. Basically whenever my mind starts creating crap about his ex I'm supposed to talk to him so he can set it straight...as he says, the images in my head are most likely a lot more romantic and sexy than the truth. In my head they shared a love that could inspire poetry and novels, wheras he says their relationship was a simple teenage thing that he thought was love but only because he hadn't encountered the real thing before. By him killing the images and reminding me that I am important to him it helps me control it. The feelings have not gone away, but they have grown more manageable and less frequent.

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

take a firm grip on your jelousy and think before you blow up and argue over something trivial. it does no good as i have found over the last 30 years. only one thing should matter is if u love him enough and he does not throw it in your face about his conquests forget about it and enjoy the relationship for what it is now and look forward not back i can cope now so u will get there with just a big breath before u lose control. hope it works out for u good luck.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Probably people will say that

 

"Don't care about past and focus on at the moment"

"The past that makes and constructs our personality as who we are"

"PAst is past and you can't change it and ignore the past"

 

I know.. I hear such a things a lot too.. And Also we know it too when wwe are far from this issue about advise.. But in fact when fire drops on ourselves, feeling pain of burn harder than the hearing scream..

 

Me as a man had same too. Even during my ex marriage that obsession makes me mad and everyday i was tırtured by my own thoughts. So time will reduce your pain and techs you to live with that, or break apart the relationship..

 

What you live about obsession of his/her past is very natural. We can't endure that someone else already lived same nice moments with our partner and our partner joy same things what he/she had with us already with someone else too.. It is very normal and i understand you..

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...