Seem to have lost a friend...adivce?

Thanks for taking the time to read this...sorry for the length...

A bit of background so you'll understand...

I spend a good bit of time on the internet in the evenings, talking to friends and family that are further away on instant messengers. I rarely talk to anyone I don't already know, and almost never go into chat rooms...so, needless to say, it was quite a surprise when she popped up with an instant message..."Hi...just looking to chat..."

We talked for hours that night...and every night after for weeks, many times into the early morning hours. I am seporated, nearly a year, and she is married...we both have kids...and quite a few miles in between us. We talked about everything...from kids, to our relationships, religion, down to what we had for dinner. We became very close over those weeks, every day I looked forward to coming home and talking to her.

I soon started to realize how much time we were spending together (on the internet) and had asked her if that was causing any trouble between her and her husband...and told her that if it ever did, to let me know, that I would totally understand and bow gracefully...she assured me it wasn't, that he had lots of other interests and had no problem with it. I asked several times about this, and each time, she gave the same response. To the best of my knowledge, none of this was ever hidden from him or any reason given to look suspicious. Neither of us believed that we were doing anything wrong...just a couple of good friends talking.

She had told me about a weegie board experience she had years ago (this is going somewhere, I promise!! lol) that said she was going to die in a car accident. That kind of freaked me out...and I got to thinking, that if anything ever happened to her, I'd never know...she'd just be gone. So I asked her if there was anyone that could let me know if, God forbid, anything like that would ever happen. There was no response for a minute...then she said no...that would be a bad idea. She also told me that what I said freaked her out as well. That was the same night that her and her husband had gotten into an argument about the time she was spending on the computer. That actually happened just before my comment. Anyhow, I asked her again if I was causing problems, she said it was ok and not to worry about it. We talked again later that night...then I didn't hear from her all weekend.

She came back on that Sunday night...said that they had been arguing all weekend about it...but it was left at that. We talked about other things...played tic-tac-toe...played a drawing game and made fun of each other's abilities...had a ball...I haven't laughed so hard in years!

But when she was leaving that night, she told me that there were problems, that she wouldn't be on much any more. She said some very sweet things...that sounded more like she wasn't coming back at all...and logged off. I cried as much that night as I did when my wife and I split up.

I sent her an email that night...saying a few things I wanted to say, but ended by telling her that I understood and supported her, and that I wouldn't try to get in touch with her unless I heard back from her...I didn't hear back.

I haven't heard from her in a week. I know that's not a long time, but today I logged on and she was on...I struggled with myself about sending her a message, or waiting to see if she would. I couldn't resist...I just said... "Hey Bad time?" She said "yeah"...laughed...and then said "one sec" ...and about 10 minutes later logged off.

Here's where I ask for advice. I'm beginning to wonder if it was what I said that night...about someone contacting me should anything happen...she did say it freaked her out...or was it really the argument? Should I try to contact her? I said I wouldn't and that also would be going against not only what I said, but her wishes. Not only do I want to know if it was something I said or not, but I'm worried sick about her...weather everything got fixed at home, if she's ok...that kind of thing. I almost feel like I'm being a little too...what's the word...I don't know...but we just had so much fun. Um...anyhow, should I leave her alone? ...or should I email her? What should I say if I do? I hope I don't sound obsessive...that's really not the case. It's just that I feel like I've lost a really good friend and don't know what to do.

Thanks for listening...any ideas are grately appreciated

Phorever,

I am sorry that this happened to you. I think indeed that she did freak out, because of what you said. The reason why I think it's not her marriage, is because you DID talk about your relationships and all. However, what I am saying are assumptions. The real answer lies in her.

Based on what I have read from you, I am sorry to advise you to let her go. If she really wants to stay in contact, she would and will contact you. You have done your best from your part. I am so sorry ... I hope though that this mail helped you a bit.

Good luck ... it's always sad to see a friend go.

~ SwingFox ~

she could be trying to advoid you. who knows you may wanna ask her, tell her how u feel?