suicidal

2 months ago my boyfriend of 2 in a half years left me I told him if I ever lost him I would go and kill myself cause I cant live without him I did slit my wrist before because i was upset when we started to get into a few arguments. But I don't think I wanna kill myself anymore because i am to young to die i am only 19 and still have a life ahead of me but i do still think about killing myself so can someone help me and give me advice before I do happen to do it thank you cute_one

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens

when pain exceeds

resources for coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1 You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

2 Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

3 People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4 Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans

Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.

Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999

Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line

Call a psychotherapist

Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen

But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

5 Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I’d like you to call someone.

I was pretty much suicidal to start with, and after I got dumped, stomped and pretty much abused both in pride and esteem, I was pretty much thinking about suicide all day long.

Surf the net, read alot of stuff on it. Joined some support groups. It helps. Having friends around helps. (PS: Just dun find those pessmistic friends or depression group, they just made me feel even worse, join something more light hearted, or meaningful)

Everytime a suicide tot accross ur mind, remind urself why do u wanna life? remind urself of ur parents, how much effort they had put into u, and how sad they would be if u die just like tat. remember ur good friends, and the things u love, u like to do, to eat. remember life is beautiful and if u re dead, u can enjoy life no more.

It is always hard initially, particularly coupled with numerous other problems. If after a month or more, u re still feeling suicidal, u may need a professional's help and maybe so anti-depression, cuz tat means there is a chemical imbalance in ur brain, cuz of ur depressing tot u keep thinking of.

Try to cheer and let go. Mediation, yoga helps too. Spend some time think it thru, on why are u feeling sad, why do u wish to kill urself? mediate on these, write them down. And one by one, come with terms with them and let it go. Try to untangle the reason of these unhappiness.

Imagine them to be like barbs stuck onto urself. Examine urself closely and find all these barbs. Untangle each and everyone of them, and let them go. Let the wind blow them away from ur hand, away from u.

well thank you for the advice but last night i got a call from my ex and he just wanted to talk about the bills if anyone else has advice i would defnitly like to hear it

Hi, lately I have had thoughts of suicide also. I got out of a really painful relationship and did not feel like I wanted to live anymore. Luckily I had my best friend to keep me away from it, it helped soooooo much to have someone who was there. We found things to occupy my time and get my mind off things. my self esteem raised back up and now I am dating again and it only helps me more. Like a snowball going downhill, it just gets bigger and better. I wish I could give you advice on what you should do, but I would be afraid I may give you the wrong advice. Instead, how about a friend?

I have suicidal thoughts all of the time. It scares the krap out of me when I'm not feeling that way, but I think about the fact that I do feel that way. "Earth people" just don't understand this, but those of us that deal with suicidal feelings do understand that it seems logical to want to die when we feel so little pleasure in life and hope returning....BUT...this is a BIG BUT...It's like using an M1 Tank to kill a fly...wouldn't a fly swatter be more appropriate? I work with EMS and I have been on calls where people have successfully committed suicide and it is very upsetting to me...Everytime that happens, I always say, " You stupid SOB! Was it worthit? Look at those you left behind! Was it right to transfer all of your pain and whole lot more pain to their lives?" The answer is NO! I have had to learn to say F*ck It! Life goes on! Yeah it sucks right now and it seems like it is not going to get any better, but do we really know that? NO!!! We don't!!! This too will pass. If you are as unlucky as I am, it will pass and return too! That is where it is time to just get unplugged from all of this life crap and just put everything on hold for a few days and live a little. Think of family, think of the blessings that are in our lives and realize that life may SEEM that bad, but it AIN'T that bad. It's all screwed up perception. Last but definitely not least, go see a Psychiatrist. I take anti-depressant drugs daily and they help me feel "normal" if I ever have known what normal feels like. Hang in there! It WILL GET BETTER!!!

hey,

I had the same thoughts like everyone else, when anything could get worse, it did. But I started thinking... why... why should I take my own dam life because some things arent going right. That just doesnt make sense? The whole suicide thing is a game that we play out in our head. A big game of What ifs? Thats my personal opinion. You should not have to be affected by your breakup. Yes, I understand that you loved him, but I am telling you there are like so many other dam guys out there its crazy. Your life is worth 1000x the amount your boyfriends' worth. I am not here to BS you or stuff, but what right does someone who came into your life have the right to make you feel unwanted or suicidal. I am a very humorous person... thereforeeeeee I would laugh it off. Make jokes about it. I know I sound crazy, but laughter is helpful. I mean if it wasnt helpful, why do people use Icebreakers before a speech, or inside a classroom. It eases the tension.

About the bills. Look at them, and make sure your not getting ripped off. Pay for your own half of whatever you used. True it may be hard to tell about the water or electric bill. But remember, do not meet or talk to your ex in a upset state or angry, because it will only make you feel worse after. Show him, that you are doing fine on your own, yes do express your feelings but dont let them get the best of you. Use goals that you want to achieve as an extra push to say, hey I want to do that, or hey I still want to do a cross-country trip on the back of a camel... you get my point. Hope that helps out some..?