Help getting over a crush need honest advice

Hello everyone,

I need major advice. I am a little confused about this guy I was dating and am still really attracted too. Alright this is the story, in October I started talking to this guy who is two years younger than me. I've never dated anyone younger than me, but oh well I was really attracted to him and it didn't matter to me.

I was tallking to him for about two months from October to November , he called me every single day, even on days I didn't expect him to call. I figured he liked me, but even so this guy was a little hard to figure out. We went out on about 4 dates, the first one had to have been the best date, the second was alright, than the third was just a quick one, the forth which was near the end of November did not go well. Regardless, after the fourth date the dude disappeared on me. I was quite hurt, but refused tc call since I figured he was definitely brushing me off. Here was a guy calling me everyday, than after our 4th date he bails, I thought. Well three weekes later he called me and left a message, I couldn't call him back right away, because I was in the hospital and did not have the energy to speak. Well I waited a few days, then I went to go and visit him at his work, in which he was not working, but his friend was. So I chatted with his friend for a bit, the next thing I know his friend is telling me that he just gave me a call ten minutes ago. I was quite surprise, how did he get my number? It turned out the guy I liked gave it to him. I still don't know why he did this, I feel it's a bit immature and inappropriate, maybe he thought I had brushed him off since I didn't call him back right away? Anyways what's even worst is I goofed, his friend asked if we can do something sometime. I have the hardest time turning people down, so I said sure. After I had said yes to this, he then told me that the guy I like just got in an accident and did not come to work for two weeks. Well I felt like an idiot, here I was feeling brush off and realized that he may have been dealing with his own stuff. I should have called him right away after finding out about this incident, but I waited until the next day, which was 12/27 I got his voice mail and told him I heard he got in an accident and apologize for not calling sooner, explaining my situation. At the end of my message I asked him to please call me back. The dude did not call me back. Now here I am trying to make excuses for him. Is it because I am talking to his friend, a guy I am not interested in....but just being friends with? I don't understand and am wondering if I should attempt to call him one more time or just leave it alone, because the situation has gotten somewhat messy since his friend is interested in me. But the friend isn'tcalling me anymore, which I am quite pleased, and if he does I'll just have to tell him I am not comfortable talking to him. He was my connection to the guy I liked, and mentally made it easier for me to not call him since I knew what I was doing. Most of my friends say to just drop them both. But I find myself thinking about the guy I was speaking with for 2 months almost everyday....What am I to do? We never even kissed but our conversation were so intimate I really became emotionally connected to him, I miss him. Also I told his friend, that I am interested in only being friends, but I am not sure if he really understood this. Should I call or move on? I am afriad that the guy I like is making assumptions about things...major miscommunication here .I am just afraid that he won't hear me out because he may feel that I have betrayed him?

Hey Fizzy,

Your situation couldn't be simpeler. I live by a rule that says: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, then you cannot make someone else happy!".

This guy obviously made you feel good and since you have been on good terms together, why not give it a try again. Communication is what it just takes. Be sure that when you get to talk to him and you feel that he would like to try again, too, to explain him how you felt over the dates you have been on with him. Express you sorrow that you have let him down a little and then tell him that you would like to try again. In my humble opinion it doesn't matter that you are woman initiating your warm feelings, even though that it's traditionally a man's responsibility to come back. Break with that tradition to make a better life for you.

Good luck and good hunting!

~ SwingFox ~