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Thread: It's been 6 months.....

  1. #1
    Member
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    Jan 2003
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    It's been 6 months.....

    It has been six months since my girlfriend of two years choose the easy way out and dumped me by leaving me a voicemail message on my phone at work. She didn't give a reason, she said it was over and that she couldn't tell me in person because it was too hard on her. I tried for a month to get an answer as to why, but she responded saying I was being selfish. Now, six months later I still feel like the day this happened. I have a tremendous empty feeling that is with me every waking hour. I did so much for her in the 2 years we were together I still am in shock that someone can be so cold and heartless and show so much disrespect. I loved this woman so deeply and still do even after all she's done. I want to feel normal again, I'd like to be able to sleep, I'd like to be able to do the things I used to like to do, but I just can't seem to. I am afraid that I may carry this with me for longer than I should and this will keep me from trusting anyone ever again. I just want the emptiness that has been with me for the last 6 months to go away

  2. #2
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    I would recommend doing a long hard look at yourself, how you acted towards/with her and figure out a possible cause for this. Somehow, she feels you have been selfish, and you have to consider the possibility you were. If you've done an honest appraisal of yourself (don't cheat yourself on this one, you don't gain anything by doing that!) and you can't see why she would think or feel that way, then you have to find a way to let it go; it can't be your responsibility anymore. You then need to pull a 180 and start to love yourself until you don't feel so bleak. If you do find something you think could really warrant the break-up (at least from what you know of her) and it was your bad for dropping that ball, then accept it, find ways of making it better for the next person you are with, and go back to loving yourself again (accepting what responsibility you can). I know that sounds fluffy, but you just have to accept there is only so much you can make another do, and to put your entire psychological self on the line (i.e. dependent upon another) you put yourself in the risk of losing yourself through these bouts and fits of depression. Think about it carefully; let me know if that helps.

  3. #3
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    It sounds like you need closure. I would agree that it's not fair she has no real explanation to the end of the relationship. In your mind there are a million possibilities as to what may have happened. What you need to tell yourself though is that if she refuses to talk to you about it then she is not worth the time. You need to see in your mind you do have closure. You do not need to be treated like that, you deserver better. There is no reason to hold on to someone that does not have the respect to explain things to you, 6 months is a long time. Get on with your life and try to forget about her. Remember you don't want to be with a person like that; there are so many beautiful people out there. Tell yourself that you and her are over forever. Don't think about your past, think about your future, hang out with your friends...have fun. If she does not want to talk to you ever again there will be no convincing her otherwise. If the two of you are not compatible there is no amount of love that will change that. The more you try to get out of her, the more she will push you away. I am not saying she is a horrible person, just maybe not the right one. I just went through something similar. I have had the most success getting out, keeping busy, positive, and meeting new people. I still think about my ex, but each day it gets a little easier. You must go out and enjoy YOUR life, you DON'T need her. Hope it helps.

  4. #4
    Member eterna2's Avatar
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    Just stop thinking of her, and what it might have being. Crush all hopes. Just forget her. I know it is hard, I'm going thru the same thing as you. Only mine is not just cold to me, she does all sort of cruel things to me, even thou I love her dearly.

    I still do love her. And hope. But I know that will only prolong the suffering, cuz I know all these are false hopes. She doesn;'t love you anymore. Just let it go.

    Ask urself honestly, do you think there is a chance? If not, crush all ur hopes. False hopes only make ur suffering worse. Stop thinking of her. Dun see her, dun do anything tat reminds u of her. Stop talking to her. Just treat tat she never existed. I dun not mean forever, but for a period of time u decided for yourself.

    You need time to come to terms with the breakup. Pestering her and thinking of her will only worsen ur condition. Find a day, and tell yourself aloud, you will not think of her, will not see her, will not hope, until you find your peace.

    Initially it is hard. U just keep thinking of her. I dreamt of her every night, the breakup almost every night. Just keep replaying. But after sometimes, if you force yourself to ignore and forget her. It gets better. Time will slowly dull the pain. Now, after 6 mnths, I only dreamt of her like once a month. And it doesn't hurt so much anymore. I have not seen or spoken to her for the past 6 months. Time really heals. You just need to decide when to start healing.

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