Jealous? or guilty?

I have been dating this guy for a year and a half now, and a few months ago we split up because our communication was terrible. We come from different backgrounds. Well, we still spoke on the phone and learned how to communicate a little better. So we decided to give it another try. However, during the time we were not together I visited a lot of friends I hadn't seen in some time. I was completely honest with him about anything I did during the time we were not together, I have nothing to hide. I didn't do anything wrong. He seems to think differently and now questions every thing I do and say. He doesn't believe anything I tell him, whether I went to the Mall or to visit my mother. He has no reason not to believe me, I have never lied to him in the past.

I just figured it was insecurity and I would just assure him, so I made a hugh mistake and starting proving to him where I was, like showing him receipts, my telephone bills, etc., That made it worse because he only questioned more and more.

Well anyway, today he left his cell phone at my house and I looked through it and noticed he makes all his calls during working hours or when he is not with me, and believe me, that's not too often.

I have encourged him to things he did before we met like playing pool, but he always responds "There is no one or anything else in my life I care about, just you."

Long and behold, when he arrived today I told him I went through his cell phone and there is no need for him to hide speaking with friends. Well, he totally caught me off guard. He was so angry I went through his cell phone and denied making any calls and if he did make the calls he doesn't remember. His voice was getting a little too loud for me so I suggested that he leave.

Is it me? He has gone through my cell phone many times and even checks my caller I.D. box to see who called.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I have never been in this type of situtation before.

wow,,,

i hate people like that.my ex girlfriend would tell you that i was just like your bf.but she gave me every reason to be suspicious.for about 90% of the things she denied later proved to be true.which of course made her mad as hell.people like that cant handle the truth or especially being caught in a lie.and it really does no good catching them because they just fall back on the trusty old "i dont remember" bull.so unless you have ever had any type of intamcy with another man,even while separated,dump the loser.when you say that you saw old friends,was there intamcy involved?because thats going to mess up any guy.he sounds just like my ex,the queen of denial....

good luck

axe03

Axe, what is your email address?

How long have you two been back together and this trust issue been going on?

I have always viewed relationships needing only 3 things; honesty, faith, and respect and by going on what you have posted, he doesnt have any of those for you.

His reaction to you looking through his cell is off, I am with you on this and I suggest you trust your instincts in knowing something is fishy.

Hi Bouquie, thanks for the advice you gave me it has helped, I have private messaged you and i hope you might be able to help. can I add the question of how it is people get back together how do you start the process?

As for your problem it is only fair that i give you my advice wether it s good or not i do not know?

From what I have read he is controlling but doesnt like to be controlled himself. Its sounds likke he is having trouble with something either in or outside of the relationship, as you said to me try and talk to him. He sounds like he is mixed up somewhere.

HeyLJ,

You are right! I gave him the option of telling the truth or we had nothing further to discuss.

Turns out he likes to gamble some, which I didn't know.

Thanks for the feedback.