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Still holding on....help


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I am 19 years old and have been out of a 2 year relationship for 4 months now. I still have contact w/ my ex almost everyday. I still do not consider myself over her. Everyone tells me I need to stay away or date other ppl. I have tried to keep myself from contacting her but I can only go for like 4 days and then I am dying to find out what she has been doing so I call her and it puts me back at sqaure one. I have also dated a little and all I do is compare my date to my ex.(there is never any comparison though) I just can't seem to get myself away from her.

 

Does anyone have any advice to help through this

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I used to be in the same boat. My ex broke up with me, and we were broke up for 2 months, and we almost never talked, then we did and pretty much got back, and dated on and off for over a month. I think it was a good thing for me to realize that she isn't right for me, i see the things more clearly now, the things i dont like about her. This is all recent stuff, and I now feel that im too old to find a new GF, or to date or get out. Im 20, most say im attractive, but im a real dork. haha. Maybe it would help alot of people to break up and get back and the second time around see that she or he is not right. it took me 3 times around to get my head screwed on straight. LIke, after we broke up the first time, i developed a defense, i found things that bothered me about her and dwelled on them as a sort of a defense so i wouldn't feel as bad. Then when we got back (my weakness), i noticed these few things alot, so it trained me not to want to be with her, which is a good thing, because when you care about someone so much, like i did the first time around, you oversee alot of stuff that you dont. Maybe someday ill date someone new, or ill meet someone new. I dont know, im 20, most girls my age found their companion it seems, they are all on campuses everywhere. I goto college but i live at home, and i work in an auto garage. My problem is i dont meet girls that much. I goto school at night and on the internet, most of my classmates are in their mid to late 20s. some in their 30s. Hmmm. I guess it isn't really a big deal, i would just like to date while im still young.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Listen man,

You need to find someone else to hang with and take your mind off of this girl. Go out and be selfish, live for youself, and care about you and only you for NOW. Its sounds petty but it will work. IF you have the urge to call her and can't resist. Maybe write her a quick email or talk to her on instant messenger if you both have it. Just a quick little line "hope everything is well anything new" etc. Thats it. The key is keeping your mind off of her. You may be meant to be who knows? But until you see what other people are like you aren't given you or her a fair shot at it. ITs gonna be tough but go have fun, and live for you. Hope it works out.......late

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