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Thread: I've been lost and depressed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    New Jersey

    I've been lost and depressed

    Ever since my girlfriend and I have broken up I've been down. We met and got close really quick. We were together for a year and the love that both of us have for each other is unbelievable. The only reason why it didn't work was because her father didn't believe in interacial relationships. So he didn't want to have anything to do with her unless she wasn't with me. She felt she couldn't go on without her father being there for her. Now that were not together we still talk on the phone because we don't want to let each other go. Now I find it real hard to let her go because I think about her all the time and I think that if her father wasn't in the picture we would get married. Now we're trying not to talk on the phone and stop talking to each other all at once. Now I'm feeling depressed because I feel I gave her my all and it was a lot of energy on my part that I'm afraid to move on and give the next person my all. I don't know if i'm wrong or if I'm just hung up on her. I'm looking for someone to give me some advice.

  2. #2
    Member Shy_Guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    I can understand why you're feeling the way you do, and it's a shame that there are still far too many people in this world who judge a person's value on the color of their skin. Neither of you two did anything wrong, and of course you still have feelings for each other. You're not saying how old both of you are, but I'm guessing in your early to mid teens. Rather than moving forward with your life, is there NO way to have a serious, frank discussion with her father? That would be my first step. If it can't be done, or you're unwilling to try to go that extra mile, then yes, you need to move on. The choice is yours, and your girlfriends. You need to talk together about it. It's okay to still have feelings for her. One word of advice - no matter how badly you feel right now, remember two things: 1) You're girlfriend is caught in the middle. She loves you AND her father. If you're harboring any anger towards her, it's mis-directed. 2) Her father (whether he's a narrow-minded, racist pig or not) is just trying to protect HIS daughter. I'm not giving him any kind of pass regarding his behavior, because he's just plain wrong. His reasoning and method of judging people might be entirely wrong, but he's doing it for what HE believes is the right reasons. You need to handle this in an objective, polite way, or move on. It'll hurt, but being afraid to give love is a sure way to never GET any.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2003


    Just don't beat yourself to death over it (dramatic statement). Remember friend, there are some walls that you can not overcome, yet you can make sure that your children see things(when/if you have kids) in a different and better light. That alone can be justice enough at times.

    I myself was raised by a very racist (against African-Americans and Mexicans)stepdad, I do not fault him for this since to be honest that was sinply how nearly all the ppl of his times were taught. But since he was/is a caucasion and I am a halfbreed Sicilian/Phillipino myself, the areas we lived in were unfriendly to me and through that I learned to see things in a different light than he could.

    Don't let the mind of someone else tare you down in any way, use what they throw at you to make yourself stronger. In the end you'll come out the better for it.


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