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what should i do?


jasmin

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i've been seeing this guy for almost 10 months now although we are just friends. When we started to get to know each other, he kept sending me sms messages, calling me up, wanting to see me, taking me out. And after 1 month, there's a moment when he started to kiss me and we did kiss, and also he always initiated to sleep next to me. I asked him why he kissed me and he said he likes me and i told him that i like him too. But after all this, he told me that he only wanted to be friends with me. Although that is his decision, i just have to accept it because i dont want to lose him as i started to have feelings already towards him. So now, we are like friends who go out together watching movie but "technically" we are more than friends because he always comes over to my house and we call each other up, see each other a lot. He wanted to remain friends because he's still not sure who he is gonna end up with and by doing this he's keeping his options open. But one thing for sure is that i care about him so much that it hurts when we are not together.

 

Anyway going to the 10 months of this friendship, i started to have this weird feelings that he's got someone else. And my instinct was right and it was none other than my own cousin. They've been out as friends as well for almost 2-3 weeks without me knowing. But I finally knew it one day and i confronted to him to tell him that i felt awkward about all this. But he kept saying that why is it so wrong to go out with my cousin. Then i told him that it's just too awkward as i have feelings for him and i care for him too. But he insisted of saying that it is not wrong for him to do that. In my situation, i would feel weird about this and it's not like we havent done anything, we actually kissed, hugged and he seems not to care what had been happening back then. How would i feel when i see him out with my own cousin?? Guys just dont understand. I dont mind if he's out with other female friends but my cousin??? that would be just too awkward right??!! He knows that i have feelings about him for so long and there he goes still going out with other people. He's the one that started me to fall for him and i cant just pull out that easily. And now he ruined everything

 

I managed to confront to my cousin too saying that i really care about the guy she's seeing and i have feelings for him and ive known him long enough to let go of him. I dont blame her and it's not her fault because she doesnt know that the guy she's seeing is seeing me too. But he knows that she's my cousin after going out a few times with her and he still keep seeing her not knowing that i would be hurt. And now my relationship with my cousin is like ruined, i just felt awkward when we see each other. I really like this guy so much but i dont know what to do now i dont mind if the guy doesnt end up with me but as long as he doesnt end up with my cousin cos that would be a disaster for me as i couldnt bare to see them together for the rest of my life. I just dont want to get hurt anymore. please help.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Your story is a very interesting to look at as it is very complicated. I've been in a similar situation where this girl i liked was a friend of this girl that liked me. I can totally understand how you feel, but to the best of my knowledge, i think there' is nothing wrong with what've you done so far, or how you feel, but everything wrong with the guy you have a crush on, unfortunately.

 

i mean, if you and this guy have been in a romantic relationship for a number of months as you described, and goes on to date your own cousin, he definitely knows, for sure, that his act would hurt your feelings and make you sad, angry, and jealous. Guys in general are pretty dumb and dull, but in this situation, there's no way that he has no idea what the consequences of his action would bring to the relationship between you and himself.

 

I think, in my opinion, he has become disinterested in you as a lover, and just wants to remain as a friend, since it's impossible just to say goodbye oneday, for the reason that he no more has feelings for you.

i'm sure you know of possible solutions to your crisis better than i do, but this is basically how i look at your situation.

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