Broken hearted catholic

I m not sure what to do.....im so sick of crying everyday of my life…. ive talked to people..... professional people, but I know they are just reading the words to me.they have never been in my shoes …I need help…im hurting so much …always pain…always ….It wont go away no matter what I do. …This is the situation. I met someone one line and I feel in love with her so much… I didn't even know what she looked like… all I had was her emails. Her words …her mind. …And I feel in love with them…when I saw her for the first time…she was just as beautiful on the outside as the inside…. the angel I had prayed for…vie never met anyone who was just what I had been looking for…we both have never had sex and with our morals wanted to wait until married… didn't smoke or drink…both romantic. We had so much in common…but I blew it.it was my first relationship and I had moved away from my home to hers…. everything in my life changed but the colors of my eyes…my job, my apartment, my money changed.everything change and I could not focus on the relationship. Everyone says it was no ones fault but I know the truth. It was completely my fault …its been a year now sense we broke up.but I cant seem to move one…I find myself doing things now if only I had done when we where together…im going to medicals school, vie been getting All buff. I have braces now…. what's happing is im growing and as I grow my love for her grows…. I love her so much …vie tried dating other people. …Threes always something about the other people i have date recently I don't like…. but with her I could actually look into her eyes and truly say there is nothing about you I don't like. I9 know people always say" I think about you all of the time" but I really do… even today I was at work and I got so sad. I don't just think about the time we had together but an also think about the future…the future with out her and I cry. I was at work today and I had to run to the bathroom.and there I sat on the bathroom floor crying for 20 minutes ….at night i will l rest my head at 11 but I find myself laying awake until 2 in the morning thinking about her. Than at 6 in the morning I awake and think about the dreams I just dreamed (which she is always in) and I curl in a little ball and cry ….o don't know what to do…. im in to much love with her …and im always worring about her …I wish I could be in her life…. I love her for everything that she is but I also love her for the way she makes me feel for she the only one that when im with. I love myself…. please help.because I miss her…im not even going to see her for Christmas but I have already got her a gift that was $1000…. People don't understand how much of a part of me she is…. what she feels I feel.when she cries. I cry …sometimes-ill get these burst of sadness …I now she's sad and ill call her and sure enough she sad…. I didn't want any more pain please help.

Your path has been long and painful.

But there can be some end to all this anguish if you truly desire it.

The hut and pain that you have been through will never go away. It is apart of you. You are going to have to accept that your relationship is over with this woman and let go.

You are going to have to be strong.

That means thinking positive, thinking of the good points in your past relationship, and seeking out someone with similar qualities.

You are going to have to be brave.

To end this journey you will have to endure the last of this pain. You will have to move her out of your mind by trying to change your thoughts of her whenever she enters your mind. You will have to leave all aspects of her out of your life. You cannot call her, contact her, or make any attempt to mend this scared love.

You are going to have to heal.

Do this and things can change. Find something that you can focus all these thoughts of her into. Like a hobby, family, or friends. But you must relax and step back and leave her alone. Give yourself time to grown and most importantly heal from the events in your life.

Remember only you can get past this. Thinking of her and wishing her back into your life at this point will only bring you down and depress you.

Gain yourself back and things will change.

But remember it will not be hard, but I know you can do it.

Stay positive and good luck to you.