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Hi my name is Lisa and I am 19 years old. I have a problem and I've searched everywhere for answers but I've come to think that I will feel this way for the rest of my life. Well I had this boyfriend and it was pretty serious. We were together for almost 2 years and have been broken up for almost 7 months, and I'm still not over it! He broke up with me and I thought that we were going to get back together until I found out that he had cheated on me with a few girls. That was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life. Then I started reaching the point where I knew I would be ok without him. Then he started dating my best friend(we are no longer friends) and I feel like I'm going through the pain all over again. The worst part is that we all work together and I have to see them together. Everyone tells me hes a jerk and I can do better and they are right. I know he's a jerk and I know I can do better. So what's my problem?? Will this pain ever go away??

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Evening Lisa,

 

I'm going to tell you what I'm sure you've already heard 100 times before, it will get better. I say this from experience. My ex-boyfriend and I were madly in love, or so I thought. One of his girlfriends called me to let me know that I wasn't the only one. So, I totally understand what you are talking about. As for why you feel this way ... well, that is because you're hurt and you're still a little stunned. And I'll be honest, it took me a good year and a half to get past thinking about him. And now, if I ever run into him (3 years later) with his new wife, it still feels like a kick in the stomach but it is better.

 

Just takes time. And until you feel stronger, when you see him and her ... go the other way.

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  • 1 month later...

I went through the same thing about a year and a half ago. My girlfriend broke up with me, and it was like it was implied that we would get back together in a few weeks. The weeks turned into months, and it just kept dragging on. Then, two days ago, she told me she had a new boyfriend. That was perhaps the greatest pain I have ever felt. I tried to kill myself that day, but I couldn't do it. I don't know why. I called her, and she said that the pain will go away, yet I don't understand. How come I can't get over it, she had no problem. The worst part is that when we were going out, I came over to her house in the middle of the night and things happened. Now, she says that it means nothing, and it hurts, it meant something to me, it meant a lot.

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wow, i dont mean to be rude when i say this but itz almost comforting knowing that there are so many people with almost the same exact problem as me at the same exact time. (u can tell i'm new to this site...which means i'm still heartbroken ).

 

my long-term girlfriend of 3-years has recently broken up with me. when ur together that long, itz almost like a marriage, ya know? believe me, in teen years, 3 years is like 10 adult years we planned on marriage, kids, future careers, etc. and said i love you everytime we were together. and then one day she just said "i dont know if i can love you in the same way". it didnt even bother me that much since she implied it to meaning about a month's break. then i checked up on her about 2 weeks later, only to find out she has a boyfriend and they've had sex my heart shattered into millions of pieces...i couldnt even breathe, went thru the whole suicidal thing for about a day. she had moved on without me, it was definitely one of the most painful experiences of my life.

 

about a week later i realized it wasn't her i was really in love with. what i loved was her loving me back, i was never lonely...and she knew this. being lonely again is what really hurt me. so u have to let yourself know that other people will come along...it isnt the end of love, it's another beginning! family and friends are also big helpz for things like this...HUGE helps.

 

you are DeFiNiTeLy not the only person to ever have experienced this kind of pain, nor are you the only one experiencing it now. i understand what you mean about running into them. you just have to find ways to avoid them, see if u can even change the area where you work so u can avoid them altogether if it really gets to you psychologically. itz just a part of life, and with time you'll understand things will be better, and one day you will remember the whole experience with a smile. hope this helped! we'll all triumph together!

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